If you haven’t already seen the video from “Redneck News,” in which citizen journalist Jeremy Todd Addaway “reports” on the effects of legalized gay marriage in Blount County, Alabama, you really need to.
Citizen Addaway, handheld camera focused on face and tongue firmly in cheek, walks us through his backwoods property, examining it for signs of the homosexual lifestyle. He announces, “This pile of brush is still here, and there are no homosexuals layin’ on top of it doin’ homosexual things.” He reaches the same conclusion as he takes us on a short tour of the rest of the property.
For some dyed-in-the-wool homophobes, this is the way the world ends, this is the way the world ends/Not with a bang, but with a giggle.
I don’t suggest that Alabama’s Chief Justice Roy Moore watch it, because he would likely have a stroke. He’d better make sure he’s fully insured, however, because change has come to Alabama. And in all likelihood, the few remaining states denying gay couples the right to marry (including Tennessee) will be dropping their dinosaur status as soon as the Supreme Court takes up the broader case in the next few months. The smart money says that gay marriage will be legal in all 50 states within a short period of time.
And just how will that affect you? Well, of course, if you are part of an engaged LGBT couple, it likely means “start picking out your china now.” If you’re a straight supporter, it means get out the credit cards because you’ll be on the hook for a lot of wedding presents pretty darn soon. And if you’re still insisting that “marriage is only between a man and a woman,” get ready to leave the state…oh, wait, that won’t work. Have you considered Russia? Pres. Putin would welcome you with open arms.
Joking aside, the country is moving on with this issue, and just as there as some who (openly or not) look wistfully back to the days of segregation and the days when women were in the kitchen, not in the workforce, there will continue to be some who bemoan the “breakdown of society.”
But how does love break down society? Don’t the bonds that marriage creates in fact strengthen society? Isn’t that what we hear ad nauseum from conservatives? It was not so long ago that people of different races couldn’t marry in most of the states resisting gay marriage today. Yet doesn’t that seem like a different world? In 20 years, most of us will feel the exact same way about gay marriages.
Homophobes, take note, though. Citizen Addaway concludes his video by reporting, “I did see two squirrels earlier that were kinda suspect. We should look into that further.” You might have better luck resisting gay squirrel marriage.
But I wouldn’t bet on it.