That Thin Blue Line Sticker

"It's there to let them know that the person driving is 80 percent likely to be carrying a duty weapon, weapon, and it starts the conversation." more »

Oct 6, 2011 by in On The Beat

The Gentle Art of Custody

I got him cuffed after using my expendable baton as a pry-bar, and do you know what happened? The same neighbors that called this in called in an Excessive Use of Force Complaint because there were so many officers “on him”. more »

Oct 26, 2011 by in On The Beat

Annexation With Representation

I’m afraid, with all of Hamilton’s promise, the town will seem as neighborly and folksy as Mayberry for a few years—but then fall victim to Walmart’s next super-store location that ruins it all. more »

Oct 26, 2011 by in Life In The Noog

Stories of Random Kindness

I like to write about random acts of kindness each year in the hope that they remind and inspire us to keep kindness in our hearts, and that the unexpected quality of such acts holds a deep and memorable place in the experience of the receiver. more »

Nov 3, 2011 in Shrink Rap

What Are You Drinking?

Chances are that as a kid you went on a school field trip to discover how water is treated in order to make it acceptable to drink. Given the contaminants, making it drinkable is a massive job. more »

Nov 3, 2011 by in Shades of Green (2 Comments)

Is It Over Yet? Haunted by Halloween

Chances are you’ve already forgotten about Halloween by now. Know why? Because—as an adult—it’s an incredibly stupid “holiday” that people either revere as the most normal day in their Goth existence or (like me) loathe to no end. more »

Nov 3, 2011 by in Life In The Noog

Chattanooga Occupation, Part 2

A few weeks ago I wrote a bit I considered ‘less crappy than usual’ about the inanity of various U.S. cities’ “Occupy Wall Street” protesters being extremely annoyed about not getting arrested despite their best efforts. more »

Nov 10, 2011 in On The Beat (2 Comments)

Welcome To The Occupation

I love my bank. I love the fact that I have ATMs all over the world. I enjoy that my mortgage, checking, savings and even my daughter’s account are all manageable within their easy-to-use online portal...I love Bank of America. more »

Nov 10, 2011 in Life In The Noog

The Courts, Cops, and You

Are my days up? Am I the last rabbit in the warren to be culled? I doubt it, Dear Reader, because what’s vanilla ice cream without a few sprinkles? more »

Nov 17, 2011 by in On The Beat (2 Comments)

You Know What I Hate?

One of the great guilty pleasures of society is to voice our disgust towards anything or anyone who doesn’t quite live up to our unachievable standards or just plain annoys us. more »

Nov 17, 2011 by in Life In The Noog (1 Comments)

Homo For The Holidays

Our annual Holiday special column from Dr. Rick. more »

Nov 23, 2011 by in Shrink Rap (2 Comments)

Unofficial Response: AR-15s

This being a matter of public record and I being a quasi-public figure, I felt it appropriate to give Chattanooga Organized for Action a public response for such an excellent rhetorical question. more »

Nov 23, 2011 by in On The Beat (5 Comments)

Chuck’s World-Famous Column

If anything is to be considered the “number one” whatever, there must be some sort of quantifiable data to support the claim. We all agree on that. more »

Nov 23, 2011 by in Life In The Noog

March of the Bums

Do you ever get a kick out of overhearing a random conversation from the table behind you at a restaurant? Same thing, but going 24/7 in our heads, even while walking down a sidewalk, as I was tonight. more »

Dec 1, 2011 by in On The Beat

Just Glad To Be Here

The mortality of celebrities is one of the most interesting phenomena of stargazing to me. Whether they die too young or live to be 100, it seems like they always go abruptly, and in methods that are usually just as uncommon as their fame. more »

Dec 1, 2011 by in Life In The Noog

A Recipe for the Holidays

All my life I’ve been drawn to the exploration and understanding of different religions and spiritualities. The distinction here between “religion” and “spirituality” is for a couple of reasons. more »

Dec 8, 2011 by in Shrink Rap

The Name Drop And How Not To Drop It

Traffic stops and arrests, in general, are done to change behavior. Your behavior, specifically, not mine, so when you do stupid shit, don’t take advantage of a “friend”... more »

Dec 8, 2011 by in On The Beat

Face Plant Coming Along Nicely

I don’t know if the guys are as jealous of the generous facial feature I can grow as I am of the full, thick head of hair they so callously take for granted but the dudes are adamant about their feelings towards my razor revolt. more »

Dec 8, 2011 by in Life In The Noog

History of the Bluesmobile, Part One

It’s kind of funny. In the Golden Age of policing (the ’30s and ’40s, to me), police forces across America began using motorized vehicles as a means of saving money. more »

Dec 15, 2011 by in On The Beat

The 90-Foot Hustle To The First Date

It’s time we men took back the reins and made our intentions loud and clear. We need to be kind and chivalrous, but firm in our intent. more »

Dec 15, 2011 by in Life In The Noog

The Agenda 21 Conspiracy

Have you heard the latest local conspiracy theory? Conspirators tell us that Chattanooga has signed on to a dastardly plot run by the United Nations. more »

Dec 15, 2011 by in Shades of Green (3 Comments)

The Art of the Stocking Stuff

Because this tradition has been ingrained in us since childhood, the Christmas stocking is now something that we as adults have to contemplate filling, whether it’s for our kids or significant others. more »

Dec 22, 2011 by in Life In The Noog

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