Dare To Be Stupid

He and I very calmly talked it out. I think we came to a mutual agreement, and I repeated this discussion at his sentencing for one Class E and two Class B Felonies... more »

Jun 27, 2013 by in On The Beat (2 Comments)

Nature vs. Nurture: A Cop Duality

Narcs, traffic cops, robbery squads—totally different personalities unified only by a common patch, a common badge. No, I’m referring to the staple of the profession: Uniformed street cops. more »

Jun 20, 2013 by in On The Beat

Same Outfit: Different Decade

I had no idea where I’d be in the next year, much less ten or 15, but I sure enjoyed where I was at for the moment. I mean really: Could the city or the job get any better than this? more »

Jun 13, 2013 by in On The Beat

A Cop’s Silent Therapy

In my experience, the only thing that has ever consistently “healed all wounds” is a stiff shot of bourbon, but perhaps that was just the broken part of me speaking. I assumed it was broken, anyway. more »

Jun 6, 2013 by in On The Beat (2 Comments)

Cynicism: It’s What’s For Breakfast

"Cynicism, like silence, is like an old friend: it will rarely betray you." And it is with no small degree of irony that the person who passed that phrase on to me ultimately betrayed me. Hah. more »

May 29, 2013 by in On The Beat

Unorthodox…Make That Just Weird

It’s not like you’re stabbing someone, but this is just…it’s just weird. Who does this?’ It was rhetorical, so I decided to tread lightly. more »

May 23, 2013 by in On The Beat

Officer Teach’s Guide to the Art of Testifying

Being a charitable fellow and also an eternal teacher at heart, I believed I was pre-determined to ‘help’ them by destroying any semblance of rhythm on their part. more »

May 16, 2013 by in On The Beat

Failure to Communicate

“NO! DON’T TOUCH IT! DO NOT TOUCH THAT GUN!” He just looked at me stupidly, head cocked to the side, and his left hand gripped the bottom of his untucked shirt to lift it higher as his right hand moved towards the gun… more »

May 9, 2013 by in On The Beat

Lawsuits of the Stupid and Stupider

Despite his wound, the old guy is able to return fire with his .357 revolver and hits his burglarizing, home-invading drug-addict attacker four times. more »

May 1, 2013 by in On The Beat

One Cop. Well Done.

Two pork chops and a bag of popcorn? Are you kidding me? That’s what you call dinner?” he screamed. I looked at him blankly from across the room, feeling no emotion…only a breeze against my shirtless back through the open screen door behind me. more »

Apr 25, 2013 in On The Beat

Training Day

A few decades ago they issued axe handles out of garbage cans on the back lot of police headquarters to assist in quelling race-riots that plagued Chattanooga. I can safely mention this now because literally all the administrators responsible for tha more »

Apr 18, 2013 by in On The Beat

Greasy Bullets: The Cop Diet

It seemed plausible that we had easily consumed more fried chicken livers than any two men combined in local history, and too much of such a unique element had to have consequences. more »

Apr 11, 2013 by in On The Beat (1 Comments)

Cease Fire? Great.

I was recently asked what I thought about a truce called by local gang leaders a few weeks ago (as of press time). My response was both quick and heartfelt: “Great.” more »

Apr 4, 2013 by in On The Beat

Last Words

It’s with a very heavy heart, and dried up pen, that I announce this will be the last column I file with The Pulse. I hate to admit it, but after 5-? years, it’s time for the paper to print something other than my inane observations and pet peeves... more »

Mar 28, 2013 by in Life In The Noog

A Desk Job in East Chattanooga

Jesus, was that smell me? I rolled back semi-reclined and glanced to see blood still on my boots, but it didn’t have time to have “gone over,” and there certainly weren’t any brains on them; I had been careful. more »

Mar 28, 2013 by in On The Beat

Not a Fan

Personally, I’ve never used that phrase verbatim, although readers of this column can attest that there are many, many things that I’m not a big fan of. And, if you’ll indulge me, I’d like to list several more. more »

Mar 21, 2013 by in Life In The Noog

Crime Culprit: Cops

I’m a brilliant sumbitch, but even Einstein would deduce that drugs are openly sold because there are people willing to pay for them, and therefore people will be willing to sell them no matter the consequences. more »

Mar 21, 2013 by in On The Beat (3 Comments)

Cowards: The New Heroes

This guy was shot in the back. He was unarmed. I heard it was over a girl.” My young General looked confused. I said, “That’s not gangsta; that’s a coward. more »

Mar 14, 2013 by in On The Beat

More Gluten, Please!

I couldn’t help but think at the time that up until a couple of years ago I had no idea what the hell gluten was, and I doubt many of you did either. However, suddenly there’s a growing number of people dead set on keeping gluten away from their gut. more »

Mar 14, 2013 by in Life In The Noog (1 Comments)

Excessive Force

Last week, a graphic video of local police using force to affect an arrest was released prompting discord from every corner of the city, from citizens to administrators. more »

Mar 7, 2013 by in On The Beat (1 Comments)

Healthy? Pay Up

Is it me or does this seem unfair? If I’m watching my diet, exercising and not running to the doctor every time I have a sniffle shouldn’t I be rewarded with reduced premiums? My car insurance company thinks so. more »

Mar 7, 2013 by in Life In The Noog (1 Comments)

Street Talk

Being a savvy native, I know the hidden spots around town where one can park for free for just about any event or occasion. But even I‘m floored by the stretches of prime street locations unavailable for parking at all. more »

Feb 28, 2013 by in Life In The Noog

Rights & Responsibilities

Take advantage of your inalienable rights. Stand up for yourself and others, and more importantly for others who cannot stand up for themselves—but keep your head about you and you can keep $175,000 dollars in bond... more »

Feb 28, 2013 by in On The Beat

Head Games

Back in the day, the only way you could deliver the sounds coming out of your stereo into your ears and not everyone else’s was to utilize a gigantic headphone device the likes of which could also be found in the cockpit of a 747. more »

Feb 21, 2013 by in Life In The Noog

Bad to the Bone

Hate it or not in your idealistic world, there comes a time when you just have to stop getting cops killed and shoot a place full of tear gas and let the chips fall where they may. more »

Feb 21, 2013 by in On The Beat (2 Comments)

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