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Salty Tales from a Rock ‘n’ Roll Sea Cruise

Last week I did three things I’ve never done before: take a cruise, go to Mexico and see Weezer live (twice). more »

Feb 2, 2012 by in Life In The Noog

Farewell to a Friend

It’s an awkward situation to be in when someone you know passes away. Proximity to the person (both literally and emotionally), the way in which they passed (expected or unexpected) … something so predictable shouldn’t be so complicated. more »

Feb 2, 2012 by in On The Beat (1 Comments)

DUI: No Longer Badge of Shame, But Behave

I started my career working Brainerd. Everyone partied there, they all drove drunk, and it didn’t take a lot of training to make a case. more »

Jan 26, 2012 by in On The Beat (1 Comments)

Couch Potato Champion, 45 Years Runnin’

My couch is one of my most prized possessions. If you’ve been reading this column long enough, you may remember a piece I published a few years ago outlining the tearful saga of my history with sofas from the context of failed relationships. more »

Jan 26, 2012 by in Life In The Noog

The CEO of Chattanooga

The higher up you go the more money you make, but the stress and criticism rise right along with the stacks of cash. more »

Jan 19, 2012 by in Life In The Noog (1 Comments)

Body Armor: What Spiderman Already Knew

Soldiers and cops have historically had two things in common: Shitty pay and the risk of perforation. Throughout history they have endured these inequalities and personal dangers to allow us to evolve as a civilized society. more »

Jan 19, 2012 by in On The Beat

Hey You Kids, Off My Lawn!

Several weeks after our local group set up camp they actually produced a sign I could sink my teeth into. It read “corporations aren’t people.” Okay ... I get that. more »

Jan 12, 2012 by in Life In The Noog (1 Comments)

Gang Problem? Good as Solved

Besides the dozens of dollars saved by reducing public safety officers, incentives to stay and their equipment, the mayor is shoring this up by spending money on a “study” to further access the gang threat. more »

Jan 12, 2012 by in On The Beat

Book-Ending Your Day in the New Year

So, what if we invest our energy toward this type of deep, inner change more than once a year? What if we re-visit who we wish to become on a monthly basis? Or weekly? Or even daily? more »

Jan 12, 2012 by in Shrink Rap

Mosaic: Lost in a Masquerade

The mayor? Furious, and rightfully so. The chief? Neighbors? Everyone in general? Furious, too. But just days later, the loonies are emerging from under their rocks and giving their “expert” opinions. more »

Jan 5, 2012 by in On The Beat

Fathoming the Correlation

A daydreamed sequence of events in Fathom as conjured in the mind of a columnist. more »

Jan 5, 2012 by in Life In The Noog

Two Five Spots for a Top Tenner

Some observations, complaints and suggestions on spending your money. more »

Dec 29, 2011 by in Life In The Noog

The Five-Oh Top One-Oh of 2011

The headlines of 2011 as seen On The Beat. more »

Dec 29, 2011 by in On The Beat

The Art of the Stocking Stuff

Because this tradition has been ingrained in us since childhood, the Christmas stocking is now something that we as adults have to contemplate filling, whether it’s for our kids or significant others. more »

Dec 22, 2011 by in Life In The Noog

The Agenda 21 Conspiracy

Have you heard the latest local conspiracy theory? Conspirators tell us that Chattanooga has signed on to a dastardly plot run by the United Nations. more »

Dec 15, 2011 by in Shades of Green (3 Comments)

The 90-Foot Hustle To The First Date

It’s time we men took back the reins and made our intentions loud and clear. We need to be kind and chivalrous, but firm in our intent. more »

Dec 15, 2011 by in Life In The Noog

History of the Bluesmobile, Part One

It’s kind of funny. In the Golden Age of policing (the ’30s and ’40s, to me), police forces across America began using motorized vehicles as a means of saving money. more »

Dec 15, 2011 by in On The Beat

Face Plant Coming Along Nicely

I don’t know if the guys are as jealous of the generous facial feature I can grow as I am of the full, thick head of hair they so callously take for granted but the dudes are adamant about their feelings towards my razor revolt. more »

Dec 8, 2011 by in Life In The Noog

The Name Drop And How Not To Drop It

Traffic stops and arrests, in general, are done to change behavior. Your behavior, specifically, not mine, so when you do stupid shit, don’t take advantage of a “friend”... more »

Dec 8, 2011 by in On The Beat

A Recipe for the Holidays

All my life I’ve been drawn to the exploration and understanding of different religions and spiritualities. The distinction here between “religion” and “spirituality” is for a couple of reasons. more »

Dec 8, 2011 by in Shrink Rap

Just Glad To Be Here

The mortality of celebrities is one of the most interesting phenomena of stargazing to me. Whether they die too young or live to be 100, it seems like they always go abruptly, and in methods that are usually just as uncommon as their fame. more »

Dec 1, 2011 by in Life In The Noog

March of the Bums

Do you ever get a kick out of overhearing a random conversation from the table behind you at a restaurant? Same thing, but going 24/7 in our heads, even while walking down a sidewalk, as I was tonight. more »

Dec 1, 2011 by in On The Beat

Chuck’s World-Famous Column

If anything is to be considered the “number one” whatever, there must be some sort of quantifiable data to support the claim. We all agree on that. more »

Nov 23, 2011 by in Life In The Noog

Unofficial Response: AR-15s

This being a matter of public record and I being a quasi-public figure, I felt it appropriate to give Chattanooga Organized for Action a public response for such an excellent rhetorical question. more »

Nov 23, 2011 by in On The Beat (5 Comments)

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