Surly gamer tips to save your money and your sanity
Newton Norman Minow referred to the television industry as a “wasteland” in a speech given at a broadcaster’s convention in 1961. If Newt could have seen the future I wonder if he would’ve amended his words to include the videogame industry, or maybe check into an insane asylum.
Lately the industry has become a heated quagmire of consumer outrage, lawsuit rumors, and social media hatred. Game publishing behemoth Bethesda has been taking both barrels to the face with their latest post-apocalyptic travesty Fallout 76.
Now before anyone decides to aim a pocket nuke towards my house, I want to be very clear: I’m an O.G. Fallout fan. I own the original Fallout collection, and had deep conversations with Chris Avellone about Fallout New Vegas’ story development.
But I’ve seen the cracks since Bethesda took the mantle and it was very clear they were going to drive this beloved post-apocalyptic RPG off a high cliff and bury the remains in an irradiated field.
I stand by my hate for Fallout 4 and, after watching all the bad features crammed into 76’s reveal it, was clear that Bethesda was out to grab us by the wallets with sexy sales pitches and gamer pillow talk. Post launch I laughed with righteous self-satisfaction as the gaming world melted down when all my assumptions proved true.
I only wish I’d warned the world sooner with my predictions, maybe I could’ve saved a few poor souls who dropped $200 on this broken game and cheap tote bag.
So, I’m going to share some salty gamer wisdom with three survival tips to save you some grief. Being so close to Christmas you’re going to need all the help you can in order to keep your sanity.
Be scared of big changes. When Bethesda dropped the no NPCs bomb, I quietly died inside. A franchise that teemed with memorable NPCs, and hinged on interesting storylines from its inception, felt sacrilegious. Even the most grindy of MMOs are filled with NPCs or some kind of narrative. Taking this away from any Fallout game just makes no sense. It’s like saying they are going to make a Halo title with no guns or aliens; it’s pure lunacy.
Never trust a meaningful experience. If you ever hear the words “meaningful experience” in connection to a video game sales pitch or demo, be afraid. What does that even mean and shouldn’t the experience depend on the players?
If you’ve ever played any game online you should know that any experience fluctuates from enjoyable to sour in .5 of a second after a load screen. Play any Call of Duty game online and you will see.
I’d appreciate if more publishers focused on the value of the end product rather than if I will have an existential awakening from it. You let me worry about it being a meaningful experience when I play it; you just make sure it’s playable in the first place.
Be suspicious of online-all-the-time. I was burned by Diablo 3 upon release and it ultimately lost me as a customer forever. I’ll never spend my money on Blizzard products for as long as I live. The big issues with online-all-the-time start day one of release with either their servers not working or horribly buggy content.
There is also a 99 percent chance online-all-the-time games will be trying to sell you additional crap. Real money auction houses, or in game currency exchanges being clear indicators that you’d probably get more fun from opening a vein than spend $18 on digital underwear.
Lately publishers have been so bold as to only sell half of a finished game with stringing out costly DLC over time. If I’m paying near $70 for a game, I want the entire game, the DLC should be optional. Some say single player games are dead but Red Dead 2, God of War, Spider-man and an endless library of independent games have proved otherwise.
Fallout 76 is a great example of how a consumer base will not stand for a shoddy product from a trusted publisher. Consumer trust is a finite commodity and one that has been constantly toyed with for years. Yet once it’s lost it’s a lonesome road to travel in order to get it back.
Hopefully Bethesda will recover from this fallout and fix the game that was promised to so many eager fans. Until then, I will keep my caps firmly in hand and enjoy the glow of the latest and greatest videogame dumpster fires.
When not vaporizing zombies or leading space marines as a mousepad Mattis, Brandon Watson is making gourmet pancakes and promoting local artists.