The clincher in the report, though, is as follows: “You tell Officer [redacted] of [redacted] Police Department if he ever sets foot on my family’s [explicative] property again, I’ll shoot him myself…[expletive].” Home run, sport. You have finally entered the big leagues! Over a warning ticket your mommy received over high beams. Join me at the Table of Assholes, son.
My civilized readers, there is such a thing as freedom of speech; this very column is evidence of such. But there is also such a thing as publicly threatening murder, and you shouldn’t have to struggle to reconcile the two.
What brought this topic to mind though is not how stupid people can be with sufficient access to global media and (presumably) alcohol; on this, I reign as “expert.”
What brought it to mind is how embarrassing it must be to real criminals to be booked on the same TCA code as these chuckleheads. My guy was facing (and did) a decade in prison and threatened my life in person; these donkeys were mad at someone else’s “ticket” for Chrissakes, and threatened a cops life “over the interwebs.” Is this the future of criminality? I weep.
Your names were not mentioned here because I’m a nice guy, but have no fear: They’ll be remembered a very, very long time.
(I’ll hook you up with a conjugal email if you wind up doing time. You do love “the interwebs” after all, right?)