How to deal with a traffic stop, even when you’re on the job
Two times in 15 years. That’s how many times I’ve been pulled over in my personal car, and that was two too many if you ask me. Why? Give me a sec.
Upon seeing the blue lights, off-duty cops still pucker up just like everyone else, and sometimes more so. In my case it’s because this was early evening, and that meant the chances I was being pulled over by a rookie were about 98 percent greater than any other time of day.
The only veteran cops who like second shift are the ones who have side businesses to attend to during the daytime hours, making them the least likely ones to be initiating traffic stops just behind administrators and janitorial staff.
You see, I know the fear in a rookie cop. The anxiety. The nervousness. The mental “do not get us sued” checklist planted in their head that distracts them from clear thinking, which in turn makes them more nervous.
Do you hear a lot of tragic stories about veteran cops accidentally pulling a trigger? Exactly.
And here I was, driving 40mph in a 40mph zone with my seatbelt on, hands at two and ten, uncharacteristically registered tags (that’s another story), not even knowing why I was getting lit up. Upon coming to a stop (using a turn signal and turning on the dome light), I stuck my hands out the window, fingers splayed.
“Sir,” the copper said loudly from the rear of my truck. “Why are you holding your hands out the window?”
“Because I’m afraid of rookie cops,” I responded, honestly having no idea who it was.
There was a notable hesitation.
He resumed his approach, and said, “You can put your hands back inside the car, sir.”
When cops see something like this (hands out the window, or palms up on the ceiling of the car), they immediately know one of two things has happened: They’ve pulled over a convicted felon, or an off duty po-lice (the hyphen is intentional of course).
In this case however, it was a first. He was, after all, a new guy.
The unintentional insult that went with my hands outside the vehicle was unnecessary, but I also find it helpful to subtly increase the tension at time like these, because after that there’s nowhere to go but to deescalate.
Right on cue, once I informed him of my day job his shoulders slumped a little and he let some air out of his chest. Oh, and he took his hand off the butt of his pistol.
What I’ve described above is a bit…unorthodox perhaps, but it leads to a larger point: People take their status, self-importance, and therefore safety for granted during traffic stops. When you start yelling and or shuffling through your glove box and seats looking for your paperwork because “…I can’t just BELIEVE this guy is pulling me over, doesn’t he know who I am?”, as it turns out, no…the officer doesn’t know who you are, only what you are capable of.
Which, if you’ll flip on any news channel this week in particular, means killing him or her.
If you’re pulled over, take a breath. If you’re defensive, acknowledge that this is not a court room; it’s a traffic stop and at least one of you has a gun, and this may not be the time to declare your status or even innocence just yet. Just practice the lost art of listening, and see how things go.
Don’t be helpful; rifling through the car makes flashy lights go off in the officer’s head. We do not want this. Don’t be helpful, just be compliant for a bit, even if you ARE really, really important and know a neighbor who is a po-lice and of course the Mayor’s aide, and any number of people who you know damn well wouldn’t take a call from you over something as trivial as you getting busted with a bad tail light.
If you breathe evenly, so will your host for the evening, and who knows? This demeanor can mean the difference between a verbal and a written encounter. OR just lose your shit, whichever…but I’m sticking with my script despite my own obvious importance.
I do know a cop after all. (Blush.)
When officer Alexander D. Teach is not patrolling our fair city on the heels of the criminal element, he spends his spare time volunteering for the Boehm Birth Defects Center.