Welcome to the new format of the Pulse! Isn’t it exciting? I admit, I’m a bit on edge, not so much because so many people couldn’t readily identify where my column was in the last issue as because of the initial editorial statements that the old version was so crappy partly because of “conservative advertising that confused the readers” (paraphrased) on the website, as if conservative advertising or views were somehow poison…unless they felt that the dirty 1%’eristic (new word) ads somehow interfered with this being what used to be a more mildly balanced paper.
Which I also, in turn, bring up because apparently I am one of the final aspects of this paper that isn’t dedicated to All Things Artistic & “Progressive”.
Are my days up? Am I the last rabbit in the warren to be culled? I doubt it, Dear Reader, because what’s vanilla ice cream without a few sprinkles? It’s like a cop without ulcers—no fun at all at parties. And if you, Dear Reader, are seeing what I’ve just typed, the “new” Pulse has just passed its first test. I attack readers, other columnists, vagrants and stray dogs for various reasons, so why not the editors’ vision as well?
If I’m dumb enough to say crazy things that could impact my job here, allow me to now say pissy things about the Hamilton County district attorney’s office and a Hamilton County sessions court judge. Heck, why not criminal court judges, too? At the end of the dissertation, let’s see if you can pass a quick quiz.
November 9, 2011: John Bradley (“Bud”) Wiser was initially charged with first-degree murder (a “pretty bad” crime), but pleads to second-degree murder and gets 20 years for beating his wife to death with his bare hands in front of their two sons, ages 12 and 9.
Did that sink in? He beat his wife to death with his bare hands. In front of their children. Repeatedly threw her into a wall, beat her with his hands and feet, and choked her. He was declared “sane” somehow, and for such horror: 20 years. Not death, not a life sentence. Twenty years.
November 9, 2011: Another criminal court judge gives John Thomas White a one-year rehab program as part of a five-year sentence for dragging his wife to death on Cummings Highway in January 2010. He’s been in jail since the incident, so he’ll be released to enter “rehab” and be on probation for the remaining three years—for having been witnessed driving off the parking lot of a bar with his wife holding onto the side of the truck. He sped on, occasionally glancing at her, according to a witness, until she fell off and was run over by the truck, at which time he left her and proceeded home. Five years, mostly suspended. For dragging his wife to death.
November 10, 2011: Timothy James Hicks appeared before Sessions Judge Clarence Shattuck to address the charges of disorderly conduct, resisting arrest, and assault on police (sessions case #1446597). Club owners had called police when Mr. Richard Wetherbee refused to leave Track 29, at the owners’ request, and when they responded, Mr. Hicks took exception to the cops asking his friend to leave and attacked them. He attacked the cops.
In the course of the fight he started, he gouged a cop’s eye and fought over the gun in his holster. He was beaten and Tazed into custody (argue this, for fighting over a gun) and on November 10? He pled guilty through the Hamilton County district attorney’s office and was told by Judge Shattuck that if he kept his nose clean for six months the case would be dismissed. Fighting a cop over his gun—and the case goes away in six months. No time served, no record.