The good doctor on navigating life’s personal intersections
In the work I do helping people navigate life’s challenges, I sometimes refer to “personal intersections”, those moments when you come to an intellectual, spiritual, or emotional crossroads, and are faced with making a decision.
Intersections are both big and small; they occur all day, and all throughout life. Major ones, such as those involving relationships, health, personal crises, career paths, educational possibilities, etc., require much of us—sometimes they demand the use of all our coping skills and inner resources, conversations with loved ones, quiet time for reflection and meditation. Maybe all of the above.
Then there are minor ones that we usually resolve without a lot of difficulty or conscious thought. These might look like…where to go for dinner. Or, shall I pick up the dry cleaning on the way to the bank? Do I have time for the gym? Shall I call my folks today?
What’s interesting about life’s intersections is that they reflect our level of mindfulness: the degree to which we are deliberately aware…throughout the day, the week, the hour, showing us which issues get our conscious attention and which don’t. Perhaps you’ve wondered what it would be like to be more conscious and present for all of your life, not just for the big moments of grand happiness or painful despair; not just for the roller coaster, but for the sweet, calm moments as well.
And this brings me to the amazing power of intention.
I suggest to you that an intention is not so much about doing as it is about becoming and embracing your best self.
To help with this you might ask yourself, what part of who I am—or who I wish to be—is due for some mindful attention? My body, my spirituality, my psychological well-being, my emotional management, my relationships? If you think about it, talk about it, journal about it, and your daily meditations focus on bringing this to the forefront of your reality, then powerful and welcomed change will occur in your life. It has to, as your feelings, thoughts, language, and behaviors shift to prioritize what’s really important to you, and what you truly want to accomplish.
Try this exercise: Spend a morning paying close attention to all the things you usually don’t give a second thought to. For instance, when you grab the cereal from the cupboard, pause. Ask yourself if that’s really what you want to eat, or are you just doing what you always do. When you leave for work in the morning and give your sweetie a peck on the cheek like usual, hold on a sec. Why communicate a mere morsel of affection when you can communicate deeper feelings of love? Turn that peck into a big, sloppy smooch and lingering embrace. (Could be fun. Could make you late for work.)
Mom’s arthritis has been acting up and Dad’s been depressed. Don’t just make a quick call, talk about little Timmy’s report card, and hang up. Choose to take the time to really talk with them. Be present. Ask questions. And listen to their answers, even if you’ve heard them a million times before. You might hear differently this time.
Being present. Paying attention. Consciously choosing how you spend this moment. And do your actions line up with your declared intentions of who you wish to be? I believe that when your intention is clear and strong the Universe listens and conspires to help…bringing exactly the right people, experiences, and blessings into your path. Are you catching them?
What’s the payoff? Relationships more deeply felt. A stronger spiritual connection to your world and everyone in it. Heightened senses. Insight. Change. In short, a technicolor life more fully lived.
Life’s fraught with pitfalls and stumblings, and we surely can’t work on everything at once. But does this really matter? Perhaps what matters most is committing to the journey toward becoming who you want to be, declaring it loudly and then paying attention, so as to embrace the support that surrounds you, that trickles into your life, every step of the way.
Until next time: “We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?” — Marianne Williamson
Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, author, minister, and educator in private practice in Chattanooga. Contact him at DrRPH.com, visit his wellness center at WellNestChattanooga.com