It's time to face up to the reality that gay rights are not just for liberals anymore
The enduring and much-loved comedian, actress and out lesbian, Lily Tomlin, is quoted as saying, “I always wanted to be somebody. Now I realize I should have been more specific.”
When I was a kid and the adults would ask, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” The usual answers were fireman, nurse, astronaut, cowboy…the heroes of a generation perhaps not as sophisticated as our modern times force us to be. Now, the answer of a little girl might be, “I want to be a boy.” Or a boy might realize “I want to be a girl.”
At worst, these are horrifying responses for some parents, and at the least, it’s a lot for a lot of people to wrap their minds around.
One of my favorite quotes comes from prolific writer Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. who is quoted as saying, “If you really want to hurt your parents and you don’t have nerve enough to be homosexual, the least you can do is go into the Arts.”
It does take nerve to be gay or lesbian. And it certainly takes nerve to be transgender. It takes a lot of guts to be who you are—from the questioning youth to the 85-year-old lesbian. And it takes a lot of soul-searching, and support, and therapy, and enormous strength to be who you feel yourself to be, especially when you don’t have familial, societal and religious support behind you.
When we stop to appreciate the enormity, for instance, of a transgender person’s life-altering decision, we realize it ain’t about the bathrooms; it’s about the age-old set of homophobic reactions couched in the concern of “those people” being around my kids. It’s about the difficulty conservative society has with anyone who’s different, let alone someone who has decided to be different.
And trans folks may be “different” to a lot of mainstream-thinkers, but to them, they have courageously emerged from being different—more accurately, from feeling inauthentic—to being who they truly are.
With former President Barack Obama announcing his support for same-sex marriage, the queer community has had a lot to celebrate in recent years. And our nationwide Pride events, whether outrageous and colorful, or subdued and home-grown, have reflected that. Glitter aside, the greater community, including our allies, has shared the call to arms of: “No civil rights movement has ever failed—and we will not fail.”
Such encouragement was the breath of fresh air the LGBTQ+ movement needed. However, this does not negate the undeniable history of often brutal treatment of gays, lesbians and transgender citizens and their lack of basic human rights in the eyes of government for most of this nation’s history.
The movement has made enormous strides over the past few decades, and the recent surge in public support for the once unthinkable concept of same-sex marriage reflects this quite radical shift in American culture. Homosexuality and support for the rights of gay and lesbian Americans are now widely accepted, even among Republicans, as a large majority of Americans say they know someone who is gay. But remember: America was not always so accepting and the rights we can all enjoy now are once again, under attack.
It was a different world when gays and lesbians were still relatively invisible in American society. Many gays lived in ghettos of their own in major cities, and most lived their lives in the closet, concealing their sexual orientation to keep their jobs or prevent eviction.
Commercial establishments were allowed to refuse service to (perceived) gay customers, and police were rarely sympathetic to gay victims of assault and other violent crimes.The American Psychiatric Association (APA) once listed homosexuality as a sociopathic personality disorder, and gays were routinely characterized in the media by crude stereotypes.
Because of the APA designation, 29 states had laws that allowed gays to be detained by the police simply on the suspicion they were gay. According to historian David Carter, electroshock therapy and lobotomies were sometimes used to “cure” homosexuals back in the ’50s and ’60s, and in almost all states, professional licenses could be revoked or denied on the basis of homosexuality, so that professionals could lose their livelihoods.
Known gays and lesbians were forbidden from working for the federal government, the FBI and many police departments maintained lists of “suspected” homosexuals, and the U.S. Post Office actually kept track of addresses to which gay-related material was mailed.
In today’s culture it’s hard to believe such a time existed, but it was in that context of routine and widespread persecution of gay people that the modern gay civil rights movement was born in 1969 amid riots set off by police raids at the Stonewall Inn, a Greenwich Village bar.
There existed a prohibition against openly gay members serving in our armed forces. Hard to imagine? Think about what our current administration is trying to do about transgender military personnel. It’s the same old song, but the spotlight has shifted to a smaller, less-supported and therefore more defenseless segment of the LGBTQ+ population.
While gay and lesbian legal equality has vastly improved, many state and local governments still find ways to practice discrimination; laws in some areas are not well enforced. And while adoption by gay couples is now legal nationwide, there are many hoops to jump through that heterosexual couples may take for granted.
The rate of adolescent suicide for youth who are perceived to be gay, lesbian or trans is still over thirty percent higher than for non-queer teens. The legacy of virulent homophobia and legal inequality looms large in many parts of this country, especially the South, and undoubtedly will for years to come.
Critics of LGBT rights efforts would be wise to learn the history of institutional homophobia in America and how it helps drive today’s gay rights movement, just as institutional racism inspired and drove the civil rights movement. Gay rights aren’t just for liberals anymore: polls consistently show that a majority of Americans support marriage, adoption, and military service for the GLBTQ+ community.
So, where are we with all of this now?
I had the privilege of knowing a good friend, Paul, who worked in HIV education. He was, therefore, devoted to teaching others how to stay healthy and alive. Everyone knew him to be a kind, generous, intelligent person who was making a difference. What most did not know was that Paul was kicked out of his home at age 14 after coming out to his family as gay. He was one of the lucky ones: His determination to sublimate his pain and rejection into something positive and life-affirming saved him.
Paul himself became HIV positive and died at a young age. How different the outcome of his life might have been, how much more might he have accomplished, had he been accepted for who he was, rather than judged and abandoned by his own family.
Remember, everything about AIDS has changed dramatically since the beginning of the epidemic in the early ‘80s. Millennials weren’t around for this, but many of us recall that AIDS began as a baffling, terrifying death sentence, danced its way through almost all segments of the population as one group after another experienced rises in infection, slowly migrated to become a manageable disease, and is now much easier to avoid contracting. Of course, Millennials also have never known a planet without HIV.
On a hopeful note, I know a lesbian couple, one of whom is transgender, who are pregnant with their second child. They have the unconditional love of both their families, have satisfying and successful careers (are very grateful for doting grandparents), and are well-integrated and liked in their community. They are committed to raising self-aware, loving and kind children.
Happily, I hear fewer and fewer stories of familial abandonment as the decades roll on. But don’t for a moment think that hurtful and oftentimes violent rejection doesn’t still happen in our current society, and right here in our scenic city, because it does.
So this is why we protest and resist. This is why we march, hold Pride festivals, and vote. This is why we do our best to take care of our own. We don’t always get along—or even understand each other—but we must continue to move forward, with hope, creating the promise for the next generation that things will get better. We’re not alone. We’re queer, we’re here…now let’s get back to work.
Until next time: “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” ~ Mary Oliver
Chattanooga Pride Events
Chattanooga Pride will be held Sunday, October 8th, 2017. Preceded by a week of LGBTQ+ events, the festival will take place on Ross’s Landing, with a parade along the waterfront at 11 a.m., followed by the festival. The festivities close with a BBQ at Images bar at 9 p.m. More info at tennesseevalleypride.com
Also, on Saturday, October 7th, M-POWER: GAY MEN’S HEALTH EXPO, will be held free at Erlanger Hospital from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Box lunch is available, free HIV testing and flu shots, with forums and panel discussions to include:
- 11 a.m.: Estate Planing/Gay Marriage/Retirement, hosted by Diane Dixon
- Noon: Transgender Health, hosted by Linda Lewis Graham
- 1 p.m.: PrEP, hosted by Mario Forte
- 1 p.m.: HIV and Aging, hosted by Troy Johnson
- 2 p.m.: Mental Wellness & Addictions, hosted by Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D.
- 3 p.m.: Stigma, hosted by Stephen Bloodworth
For more info, contact Mario Forte at 423.322.4900