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September 13, 2012

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PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): It would be an excellent time for you to elope, even if you do so with the person to whom you’re already mated. You might also consider the possibility of wearing a wedding dress everywhere you wander, even if there is no marriage ceremony in your immediate future. Please at least do something that will symbolize your intention to focus on intimacy with an intensified sense of purpose. Seek out someone who’ll give you lessons in how to listen like an empathetic genius. Compose and recite vows in which you pledge to become an utterly irresistible ally.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): You will never be able to actually gaze upon your own face. You may of course see a reasonable likeness of it in mirrors, photos, and videos. But the real thing will always be forever visible to everyone else, but not you. I think that’s an apt symbol for how hard it is to get a totally objective view of your own soul. No matter how sincere you may be in your efforts to see yourself clearly, there will always be fuzziness, misapprehensions, and ignorance. Having said that, though, I want you to know that the coming weeks will be an excellent time to see yourself better than ever before.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): I’ve got three related pieces of advice for you, Taurus: 1. The most reliable way for you to beat the system is to build your own more interesting system. 2. The most likely way to beat your competitors is not to fight them, but rather to ignore them and compete only against yourself. 3. To escape the numbing effects of an outworn tradition, you could create a fresh tradition that makes you excited to get out of bed in the morning.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “Dear Doctor of Love: My heart is itchy. I’m totally serious. I’m not talking about some phantom tingle on the skin of my chest. What I mean is that the prickling sensation originates in the throbbing organ inside of me. Is this even possible? What should I do? —Itchy-Hearted Gemini.” Dear Gemini: I suspect that it’s not just you, but many Geminis, who are experiencing symptoms like yours. From what I can tell, you have a lot of trapped feelings in your heart that need to be identified, liberated, and dealt with.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): If you make a conscious decision to combine plaids with stripes or checks with floral patterns, I will wholeheartedly approve. If, on the other hand, you absent-mindedly create combinations like that, doing so because you’re oblivious or lazy, I will soundly disapprove. The same holds true about any hodgepodge or hybrid or mishmash you generate, Cancerian: It’ll receive cosmic blessings if you do it with flair and purpose, but not if it’s the result of being inattentive and careless.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Should we boycott the writing of Edgar Allan Poe because he married his 13-year-old cousin when he was 26? Should we stop using iPhones when we find out that Steve Jobs said that “doing LSD was one of the two or three most important things I have done in my life”? Should we stop praising the work that Martin Luther King Jr. did to advance civil rights because he engaged in extramarital affairs? Those are the kinds of questions I suspect you’ll have to deal with in the coming days, Leo. I encourage you to avoid having knee-jerk reactions.

by

September 13, 2012

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