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January 17, 2013

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CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): A San Francisco writer named Maneesh Sethi decided he was wasting too much time on the Internet. His productivity was suffering. So he hired a woman to sit next to him as he worked and yell at him or slap his face every time his attention wandered off in the direction of Facebook or a funny video. It worked. He got a lot more done. While I would like to see you try some inventive approaches to pumping up your own efficiency, Capricorn, I don’t necessarily endorse Sethi’s rather gimmicky technique. Start brainstorming about some interesting yet practical new ways to enhance your self-discipline, please.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “Ronnyjohnson618” is a guy who posts his opinions on a wide variety of Youtube videos. Many times, he claims to be an expert in the field he’s commenting on. Responding to a live music performance, he says he’s a conductor for an orchestra. Offering his opinion about a mimosa plant, he asserts that he is a botanist. I love this guy’s blithe swagger; I’m entertained by the brazen fun he’s having. As you express yourself in the coming week, I recommend that you borrow some of his over-the-top audacity. Create a mythic persona. Imagine your life as an epic story. Play the part of a hero.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): The earliest performance artist on record was the ancient Greek philosopher Diogenes of Sinope. In one of his notorious stunts, he wandered around Athens with a lit lantern during the daytime, claiming to be looking for an authentic human being. I recommend that you undertake a similar search in the coming days, Pisces. You don’t have to be as theatrical about it. In fact, it might be better to be quite discrete. But I think it’s important for you to locate and interact with people who are living their lives to the fullest —devoted to their brightest dreams and sworn to express their highest integrity.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): “If you would hit the mark, you must aim a little above it,” wrote 19th-century poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. “Every arrow that flies feels the attraction of the earth.” This is good counsel for you to keep in mind during the coming weeks, Aries. I suspect you will have a good, clear shot at a target you’ve been trying to get close to for a long time. Make sure you adjust your trajectory to account for the attraction of the earth.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): If you learn a novel idea or a crucial new lesson while you are tipsy or outright blitzed, you will probably forget it when you sober up. But there’s a good chance you will recall the vanished information the next time you get loopy. I’m telling you this, Taurus, because even if you haven’t been inebriated lately, you have definitely been in an altered and expanded state of consciousness. I’m afraid that when you come back down to earth in a few days, you might lose some of the luminous insights you’ve been adding to your repertoire. It would be a shame to lose track of them until the next time your mind gets thoroughly blown open.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Studying the movements of the planets is my main way of discerning the hidden currents of fate. I sometimes supplement my investigations by reading Tarot cards and the “I Ching.” Here’s what I found, Gemini: You now have the power to discern previously unfathomable patterns in a puzzling mystery you’ve been monitoring. You also have the ability to correctly surmise the covert agendas of allies and adversaries alike. Maybe best of all, you can discover certain secrets you’ve been concealing from yourself.

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January 17, 2013

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