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July 4, 2013

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CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19):  It’s Grease Week—a time when you need to make sure everything is as well-oiled as possible. Does your car need a quart of Castrol? Is it time to bring more extra virgin olive oil into your kitchen? Do you have any K-Y Jelly in your nightstand, just in case? Are there creaky doors or stuck screws or squeaky wheels that could use some WD-40? Be liberal with the lubrication, Capricorn—both literally and metaphorically. You need smooth procedures and natural transitions.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Two years into the War of 1812, British soldiers invaded Washington, D.C. They set fire to the White House and other government buildings. The flames raged out of control, spreading in all directions. The entire city was in danger of burning. In the nick of time, a fierce storm hit, producing a tornado and heavy rains. Most of the fires were extinguished. Battered by the weather, the British army retreated. America’s capital was saved. I predict that you, Aquarius, will soon be the beneficiary of a somewhat less dramatic example of this series of events. Give thanks for the “lucky storm.”

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Like the legendary Most Interesting Man in the World who shills for Dos Equis beer, you will never step in gum on the sidewalk or lose a sock in the coming weeks. Your cereal will never get soggy; it’ll sit there, staying crispy, just for you. The pheromones you secrete will affect people miles away. You’ll have the power to pop open a pinata with the blink of your eye. If you take a Rorschach test, you’ll ace it.  Ghosts will sit around campfires telling stories about you. Cafes and restaurants may name sandwiches after you. If you so choose, you’ll be able to live vicariously through yourself. You will give your guardian angel a sense of security.

ARIES (March 21-April 19): In his book The Fisher King and the Handless Maiden, Robert Johnson says many of us are as much in debt with our psychic energy as we are with our financial life. We work too hard. We rarely refresh ourselves with silence and slowness and peace. We don’t get enough sleep or good food or exposure to nature. And so we’re routinely using up more of our reserves than we are able to replenish. We’re chronically running a deficit. “It is genius to store energy,” says Johnson. He recommends creating a plan to save it up so that you always have more than enough to draw on when an unexpected opportunity arrives. The coming weeks will be an excellent time to make this a habit, Aries.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20):  In the course of your long life, I estimate you will come up with approximately 60,000 really good ideas. Some of these are small, like those that help you decide how to spend your weekend. Some are big ones, like those that reveal the best place for you to live. As your destiny unfolds, you go through phases when you have fewer good ideas than average, and other phases when you’re overflowing with them. The period you’re in right now is one of the latter. You are a fountain of bright notions, intuitive insights, and fresh perspectives. Take advantage of the abundance, Taurus. Solve as many riddles and dilemmas as you can.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): No one knows the scientific reasons why long-distance runners sometimes get a “second wind.” Nonetheless, such a thing exists. It allows athletes to resume their peak efforts after seemingly having reached a point of exhaustion. According to my reading of the astrological omens, a metaphorical version of this happy event will occur for you sometime soon, Gemini. You made a good beginning but have been flagging a bit of late. Any minute now, though, I expect you will get your second wind.

by

July 4, 2013

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