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Alex Teach

"Whoever went to the trouble of seizing this $200 dollar piece of sh...in the name of the Great State of Tennessee will always have my respect, and I hope to this day it was crushed somewhere with dignity.” more

On The Beat 1 Comments

You can often gauge how well I know someone I’m in a conversation with based on the length of the “traffic ticket story” they’re telling me. First clue: If they’re telling me a long “traffic ticket story,” I don’t know them at all and they ... more

On The Beat

The Wire. The HBO series that made Baltimore, Maryland (aka “Bodymore, Murdaland”) gangsta’ way, way before the Freddie Gray riots did. The city is a fascinating lesson in theory-vs-reality in so many areas it’s tough to pick one to narrow it down… more

On The Beat

I was visiting a municipality to the south of us recently and noticed that the local constabulary were driving pick-up trucks. Single cab trucks with average bed lengths, replete with lightbars on the roof and grills and smothered in custom ... more

On The Beat

At the time of this writing there are still people in jail and there is still blood on the ground in Portland, Oregon after another stunning street battle played out in the news. People using the forcible suppression of opposition in order to fight… more

On The Beat 2 Comments

Another close call in a career full of close calls, but yet again I had somehow made it.Coincidence? Skill? Probably the former but you hope it was the latter, though in the end it makes no difference either way. I’d made it and I could relax, my ... more

On The Beat

Job Fair: It’s an interesting play on words because for me because its literal meaning strikes me as ironic given the environment I find myself in when I work a side job at a local poultry plant. (That’s another nice title that sounds better than ... more

On The Beat

I’m looking down at my drink slowly churning the ice as I tend to do and I notice I’m using a swizzle stick from a jar that was packed full of them that my old man had collected for the two decades he drank. They’d been on a shelf in the kitchen ... more

On The Beat

A few weeks ago I was at a restaurant that had long wooden tables with tall chairs. It almost exclusively served alcohol, but wasn’t a bar of course. Co-workers new and old were there in what is an exceptionally rare occurrence for me: I was “out.” more

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The rain. ALWAYS with the rain. And not just rain, but cold. You know what goes good with “cold?” Alcohol. That’s…pretty much it. You know what doesn’t go with “cold”? RAIN. I can layer against cold, but when it’s cold and raining? That just ... more

On The Beat

“Dear Sir or Ma’am,” he was writing in impossibly small block lettering. “I am so very sorry I hit your car, but I could not stay to make a report.” He paused, gauging the amount of space he had left on the back of the business card as if he ... more

On The Beat

I was in a restaurant last week enjoying a rare lunch that did not involve Tupperware or a hastily constructed hot dog, and I was smiling. I was with “people.” I was eating comfort food. And I was not in uniform so I was just another customer ... more

On The Beat

“Safe Injection Sites.” I can remember the first time I heard of this phenomena…partly because it was too shocking to the conscious to conceive as real and partly because the concept of being “shocked” is clearly coming to an end in this world ... more

On The Beat

“Accountability.” As anyone with a pulse in America knows, this country is all about accountability—especially when it comes to its Police Officers. In light of the events of August 2014 in Ferguson Missouri, the family of the slain 18-year-old ... more

Cover Story

Christmas Day. This is of note in two small ways that are only of any concern to myself, but I’m the one writing this column so you get the unenviable joy of listening to both of them. The first is that Christmas Day falls precisely three days ... more

On The Beat

The residentially challenged. That’s what I believe they are referred to as now, but it’s been a few weeks since I’ve had a conversation with an overly-sensitive idiot with the lack of sense to keep their mouth shut around me regarding what is ... more

On The Beat

Naturally like all cops I'm part man, part eagle, part wildebeest, part bloodhound, part cheetah, and part bear. But mostly I'm just really good at finding obvious stuff, which was the case this evening when I found a trail of money leading into ... more

On The Beat

The sun was directly overhead and casting shadows of barren tree branches across the path of the sidewalk I was walking on beside a local mall, and I could swear for just a second that I saw a vapor trail of my own breath upon exhaling. more

On The Beat

“Are you Batman?” a child asked me while sitting for a moment in Coolidge Park. “No,” I said with a good natured smile. “I’m not Batman. Why do you ask?” “Because Batman wears black, and has a utility belt, and doesn’t have superpowers. I think ... more

On The Beat

He came into the sally port of the jail with an air of confusion, something well-earned since he hadn’t been inside there in longer than anyone—including himself—could remember. “Big Al” had been a cop longer than most people in the intake room ... more

On The Beat

It’s over. The August 12th rally in Charlottesville in which one group of a-holes planned to have a rally to “unite the right” was met head on by a diametrically opposed different set of a-holes who felt the need to tell them that they were ... more

On The Beat

DI 15.38

Monday

September 24, 2018

Tuesday

September 25, 2018

Wednesday

September 26, 2018

Thursday

September 27, 2018

Friday

September 28, 2018

Saturday

September 29, 2018

Sunday

September 30, 2018