Alex Teach http://www.chattanoogapulse.com/topics/alex_columnist_teach/index.rss en-us © 2014 The Pulse and Brewer Media. All rights reserved. Wed, 26 Nov 2014 16:45:00 GMT Have a Happy Copsgiving Picture it: The cloying scent of multiple dishes of food combining to permeate every pore of your body (as well as your clothing—you will smell delicious the next time you wear that fall sweater).

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Fight Or...Well...Fight “NOBODY PUTS BABY IN THE CORNER!” my partner cried as he took our customer to the ground in a surprisingly graceful rotating arm-bar takedown.

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Welcome to the Fast Lane “It’s such bullshit,” said Young Chattanoogan #1. He was referring to a speed-reduction initiative taking place on Highway 153 a week ago. And by “speed-reduction initiative,” I mean a carpet-bombing of cops ...

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Informant’s Take On Karma She’d gone wiggy on me. “Just who all knows about me? I want every email, every phone message. Every tip I passed on,” Angela asked. I worked on soothing her ...

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Plain Truth In Plain Clothes I recently had the pleasure of attending a birthday party for a friend out of town. (Those last three words, of course, being quite important to this week’s column.)

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Out of Mind, Out of Sight I winced as the coffee ran over the Styrofoam cup’s brim and down across my fingers like a white-hot phantom, my feet still moving as I negotiated the well-worn but filthy trail, my breath visible due to the low temperatures ...

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Trunkajunk, Cop Version Officer Alex’s cop car is a rollling collection of...well, just about everything imaginable. Just don’t let me get to my trunk. Not a threat. Just a statement of fact...

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The Flying Feathers of Chickenmageddon “The Ridgecut.” Such a simple name for such a horrible stretch of Interstate, but that’s where we were because that’s the place a semi-truck hauling enough live chickens to feed Cuba on a Saturday night jackknifed ...

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Throwing Us Under The Bus. Again. Sorry, kids, but no stories this week. The truth? I prefer them myself, but on occasion I can’t think of awkward anecdotes because I’m too annoyed to focus on telling stories ...

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It Was Raining in the Freezer Section Tonight’s customer had fallen asleep (passed out?) on the railroad tracks behind the Emma Wheeler Homes. The scent of unemployment and apathy was balanced by the squealing laughter of children, and they made coming in here ...

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Tales From The Pigpile We spot him on the front porch of his house on Foust Street before he spots us, which is kind of surprising since we are very distinctly dressed as “cops” and he is a thief and a robber with three felony warrants out for his arrest.

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Mementos Mori I held a chilled crystal glass in my left hand while my right index finger traced the spines of a dozen books on a shelf just above my head, and I smiled to myself.

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Sleep of the Civil Servant Sleep. I’ve spent a sizeable amount of my career on midnight shift, and of all the excitement, all the different things I’ve seen and done, that is the one word that comes to mind.

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Protect And Serve While I am loath to broach the topic after the media circus that has (clearly unintentionally) caused its own media circus regarding the audacity of police to respond aggressively to having shots fired ...

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One Cop’s View of Ferguson, Missouri You can believe you are right. You can believe that your first hearing of a tragic story is absolutely, completely accurate with zero margin for error and just run with it...

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Love Poem to My Batmobile Officer Alex recalls good times with his sweet, sweet Caprice.

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The Power, the Passion...The Stakeout "Whoever went to the trouble of seizing this $200 dollar piece of sh...in the name of the Great State of Tennessee will always have my respect, and I hope to this day it was crushed somewhere with dignity.”

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In Pipe Dreams Begins Responsibility On vacation, Officer Alex muses on lightning and refugee kids.

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New Jersey, Old Stupidity "Rather than robbing the store, he told witnesses to, ‘Watch the news later, I’m going to be famous!’ and then lay in wait as officers responded.”

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Force of Will Preparedness? Obligation? Duty? I had no idea, but all traffic had stopped flowing and it was now time to punch this time clock.

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