There aren’t many former international opera singers working at UTC. Cassandra Riddle can claim that distinction.
There aren’t many 55-year-olds on campus pursuing master’s degrees, either, but Riddle can lay claim to that, too.
Her personal resume, which she refers to as a lifelong journey of self-discovery, includes rock climber, fitness guru, runner, former choir teacher at Chattanooga’s Girls Preparatory School, and former gym owner and personal trainer.
Her story, too, includes recovery from alcohol misuse.
“My hook is my own story, that I’m able to connect with people,” Riddle said, “and I have been in recovery for many years.”
Keilan Rickard, director of the University of Tennessee at Chattanooga Counseling Center, said Riddle’s personal story resonates and makes it easier for others to share their stories.
Not long ago, Riddle—the collegiate recovery program coordinator and substance misuse educator in the UTC Center for Wellbeing—was visiting with a sorority. At first, she couldn’t get the audience to participate.
“Once she opened up and started telling her own story, suddenly everybody talked,” Rickard explained. “It is because Cassandra is willing to share her own story that other students are following suit.”
And what a story it is.
Riddle, a 1994 graduate of the prestigious Academy of Vocal Arts in Philadelphia, traveled around the globe for her opera career.
She had a successful run as an opera singer, winning an Emmy Award for her 1997 “Live from Lincoln Center” performance singing “O Soave Fanciulla” from La Bohème.
But she wanted to do more than just sing, which had been her focus since she was 15.
“I felt limited and boxed in; I wanted to rock climb and run,” she said, “so in my early 30s, I retired at the height of my career.”
She found herself rock climbing worldwide, running marathons and “living in a van down by the river for about a year and a half.” Eventually, her travels brought her to Chattanooga.
“I came here, got married, got a job at the Girls Preparatory School and taught,” she recalled. “Then I decided to stop teaching and opened up a very successful private gym. Everything in my life was working well, except my marriage and this thing that I was doing—which was drinking.”
Riddle said she and her husband had a “drinking relationship,” starting with a glass of wine every night. But one glass soon became two. And two became more.
“For him, it didn’t get out of control,” she said. “For me, it became unmanageable.”
Riddle said she drank nightly for six years, graduating from wine to harder alcoholic drinks.
“I was fit on the outside and falling apart a bit on the inside,” she explained. “I wasn’t out of work. I wasn’t drinking under a bridge. I wasn’t passed out all the time. It was a slow boil to me realizing that my life was unmanageable in certain areas.
“Then came this epiphany, ‘I’m going to go talk to somebody about this,’ and I went to see a therapist.”
As they talked, Riddle told the therapist that both of her grandfathers had a history involving alcohol.
She told of a health scare, as she recently had visited a doctor for heart palpitations caused by a high iron level.
And speaking with the therapist led her to talk about childhood traumas that she had bottled up.
“I was brought up in an era where spanking was legitimate. For a little girl, beating and spanking felt like the same thing, so there was a bit of trauma from that,” Riddle explained. “I was bullied at school, so there was trauma with that. And I was sexually assaulted in college and never reported it; there was trauma with that.”
The drinking was compounded by growing relationship issues with her husband, which ultimately led to divorce.
“Noticing how many bottles were in the recycling bin was alarming,” Riddle said.
“The therapist told me, ‘You need to go do something about this. You’re either going to an outpatient facility or going into AA (Alcoholics Anonymous).’
“I reached out that night,” she continued, “and it’s just been wonderful from that point on. I went into the 12-step program and began my journey to recovery. It’s not for everyone; everybody has their own way of getting back to wellness.”
Her road to recovery led to a reconciliation of sorts with her ex-husband.
“He and I remain in great contact and we’ve healed over it,” Riddle said. “He’s consequently had his own journey of not drinking.”
Riddle, who has been sober for nearly 10 years, said she always felt she could be free of alcohol.
“I had years of not drinking when I was singing, so I knew it was possible,” she said.
“The moment I went into recovery, I knew I would be OK. It’s not like my life has been complete bliss from that point; I am human, and there are moments of sitting in real uncomfortableness. But I allow myself to be OK with feeling bad just for the moment, then that energy just moves through me and I’m fine.”
Figuring her personal story would work well as a counselor, Riddle began pursuing a master’s degree last fall after being accepted into the UTC Clinical Mental Health Counseling Program.
Shortly after arriving on campus, she learned about the startup of a new student-targeted program—now known as the Mocs Recovery Program—designed to promote a greater understanding of recovery issues and reduce the stigma associated with help-seeking.
She applied for—and landed—the coordinator/educator role. Her journey to self-discovery led others to discover her.
“It’s the craziest thing; I know synchronicity exists,” Riddle said. “I wanted to go into counseling because it was so transformative for me to have someone to talk to about all this, and that’s why I’m here in school.
“It’s huge to have someone leading a program that’s actually been in their own recovery. There’s a buy-in, a warmness, an openness, a willingness to step forward with someone who’s been through recovery.”
The Mocs Recovery Program continues to gain traction. Riddle is already working with close to 20 students in recovery from substance misuse, leading recovery-specific events and supportive conversations.
It all goes back to having that story to share.
“I love being in this position to give back in any way possible,” she said. “It’s healing for me to be able to serve others that may be struggling with it.”
As Rickard recounted in telling the story of Riddle’s sorority visit, “People with family members affected by substance use and people in recovery themselves came up and talked to her afterward.
“Recovery is contagious. Even talking about recovery is contagious. I think it speaks to the importance of someone in her position having experience in recovery themselves so that they’re more relatable. She comes about this honestly.”