The good doctor has some helpful tips on coping effectively
As we all know, stress is a part of life, and while there are many types of stress, as well as healthy and unhealthy ways to cope, let’s face it: We know what it feels like, and it doesn’t feel good.
For many of us, recent times have been quite stressful. Political strife and divisiveness in our country, concerns over healthcare, employment, education, human rights, and much more are often on our minds and in our conversations. And, as we slowly segue into the cooler, colorful days of Fall, other potential stressors loom on the horizon. For instance, the upcoming holidays and perhaps pressure around family and obligations.
Additionally, for some, the shorter days contribute to seasonal depression.
This can all feel like a lot to manage. However, being forewarned is forearmed. Planning for what you know is coming up is a healthy tool to have in your bag. Consider the following:
▪ Physical symptoms are the body’s way of communicating to you that you’re under too much stress. Stress is linked to just about all causes of illness and discomfort, including cardiovascular disease, stroke, cancer, a depressed immune system, insomnia, migraines, anxiety and depression, and more.
▪ The highest rated stressors are the death of a loved one, divorce/break-up, illness, a move, and job change. But of course, we suffer smaller-scale stressors all the time in our day-to-day lives. An accumulation of these smaller stressors can be just as debilitating as a major stressor.
▪ You’ve read in this column before that while we cannot always control external events, we can control—or learn to control—our response to those events. When we learn to manage our own responses, our stress levels decrease. It’s about knowing—and accepting—what you can change and what you can’t.
▪ Not all stress is the same. Consider the difference between an unwanted break-up with your sig other (“distress”) and winning a promotion at work (“eustress”). But regardless of stress type, talking through stressful feelings, and making time to take good care of yourself, is so very important.
Here are some practical ways to manage stress more effectively:
1. Become aware of what causes you stress on a daily, weekly, and/or seasonal basis, and keep a diary of these situations as well as your responses to them, both physical and emotional. Bring this list to your therapist or physician for guidance.
2. Use your support system. Know when to turn to your friends, family, mentor, online buddy/support program…even your beloved pet can be a good listener! Remember: You don’t have to handle everything alone.
3. Learn to say “no”. This can be quite a challenge, especially if someone is not used to setting limits with others. But, like any skill, it can be learned and used effectively—and guilt-free—with practice.
4. What’s really important? I suggest to you that there is “real drama” (like the stressors mentioned earlier), and “created drama”. Learn to distinguish between the two, and consider which require your attention and energies, and which are not yours to fret over. Ask yourself: “Do I really need to engage in this?”
5. Mind-body exercises such as deep-breathing, meditation, and yoga are wonderful ways to relieve stress. I highly recommend these techniques, as well as physical exercise, rest, and good nutrition.
6. Laugh. Lastly, I tell my patients that when you can get to the point of laughing at a stressful situation, laughing at yourself, and gaining a new perspective, you’re coping well!
Until next time, from poet Mary Oliver, “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”
Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, author, minister, and educator in private practice in Chattanooga. Contact him at DrRPH.com, visit his wellness center at WellNestChattanooga.com