Homework: “It is hard a and great art to make life not so serious,” said John Irving. How are you doing with that? FreeWillAstrology.com
Rob Brezsny crop
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “I just cut my bangs in a gas station bathroom,” confesses a Libran blogger who calls herself MagicLipstick. “An hour ago I shocked myself by making an impulse buy of a perfect cashmere trench coat from a stranger loitering in a parking lot,” testifies another Libran blogger who refers to himself as MaybeMaybeNot. “Today I had the sudden realization that I needed to become a watercolor painter, then signed up for a watercolor class that starts tomorrow,” writes a Libran blogger named UsuallyPrettyCareful. In normal times, I wouldn’t recommend that you Libras engage in actions that are so heedlessly and delightfully spontaneous. But I do now.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): You could call the assignment I have for you as “taking a moral inventory” or you could refer to it as “going to confession.” I think of it as “flushing out your worn-out problems so as to clear a space for better, bigger, more interesting problems.” Ready? Take a pen and piece of paper or open a file on your computer and write about your raw remorse, festering secrets, unspeakable apologies, inconsolable guilt, and desperate mortifications. Deliver the mess to me at Truthrooster@gmail.com. I’ll print out your testimony and conduct a ritual of purgation. As I burn your confessions in my bonfire at the beach, I’ll call on the Goddess to purify your heart and release you from your angst. (P.S.: I’ll keep everything confidential.)
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Two hundred years ago, Sagittarian genius Ludwig Beethoven created stirring music that’s often played today. He’s regarded as one of history’s greatest classical composers. And yet he couldn’t multiply or divide numbers. That inability made it hard for him to organize his finances. He once wrote about himself that he was “an incompetent business man who is bad at arithmetic.” Personally, I’m willing to forgive those flaws and focus on praising him for his soul-inspiring music. I encourage you to practice a similar approach with yourself in the next two weeks. Be extra lenient and merciful and magnanimous as you evaluate the current state of your life. In this phase of your cycle, you need to concentrate on what works instead of on what doesn’t work.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “When you hit a wall—of your own imagined limitations—just kick it in,” wrote playwright Sam Shepard. That seems like a faulty metaphor to me. Have you ever tried to literally kick in a wall? I just tried it, and it didn’t work. I put on a steel-toe work boot and launched it at a closet door in my basement, and it didn’t make a dent. Plus now my foot hurts. So what might be a better symbol for breaking through your imagined limitations? How about this: use a metaphorical sledgehammer or medieval battering ram or backhoe. (P.S. Now is a great time to attend to this matter.)
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In 1965, Chinese archaeologists found an untarnished 2400-year-old royal bronze sword that was still sharp and shiny. It was intricately accessorized with turquoise and blue crystals, precision designs, and a silk-wrapped grip. I propose we make the Sword of Goujian one of your symbolic power objects for the coming months. May it inspire you to build your power and authority by calling on the spirits of your ancestors and your best memories. May it remind you that the past has gifts to offer your future. May it mobilize you to invoke beauty and grace as you fight for what’s good and true and just.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “All human beings have three lives: public, private, and secret,” wrote Piscean novelist Gabriel García Márquez. I will add that during different phases of our lives, one or the other of these three lives might take precedence; may need more care than usual. According to my analysis, your life in the coming weeks will offer an abundance of vitality and blessings in the third area: your secret life. For best results, give devoted attention to your hidden depths. Be a brave explorer of your mysterious riddles.
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Comedian John Cleese speaks of two different modes toward which we humans gravitate. The closed style is tight, guarded, rigid, controlling, hierarchical, and tunnel-visioned. The open is more relaxed, receptive, exploratory, democratic, playful, and humorous. I’m pleased to inform you that you’re in a phase when spending luxurious amounts of time in the open mode would be dramatically healing to your mental health. Luckily, you’re more predisposed than usual to operate in that mode. I encourage you to experiment with the possibilities.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Upcoming adventures could test your poise and wit. They may activate your uncertainties and stir you to ask provocative questions. That’s cause for celebration, in my opinion. I think you’ll benefit from having your poise and wit tested. You’ll generate good fortune for yourself by exploring your uncertainties and asking provocative questions. You may even thrive and exult and glow like a miniature sun. Why? Because you need life to kick your ass in just the right gentle way so you will become alert to possibilities you have ignored or been blind to.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Novelist John Irving asked, “Who can distinguish between falling in love and imagining falling in love? Even genuinely falling in love is an act of the imagination.” That will be a helpful idea for you to contemplate in the coming weeks. Why? Because you’re more likely than usual to fall in love or imagine falling in love—or both. And even if you don’t literally develop a crush on an attractive person or deepen your intimacy with a person you already care for, I suspect you will be inflamed with an elevated lust for life that will enhance the attractiveness of everything and everyone you behold.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): You know your body is made of atoms, but you may not realize that every one of your atoms is mostly empty space. Each nucleus contains 99 percent of the atom’s mass, but is as small in comparison to the rest of the atom as a pea is to a cathedral. The tiny electrons, which comprise the rest of the basic unit, fly around in a vast, deserted area. So we can rightfully conclude that you are mostly made of nothing. That’s a good meditation right now. The coming weeks will be a fine time to enjoy the refreshing pleasures of emptiness. The less frenzy you stir up, the healthier you’ll be. The more spacious you allow your mind to be, the smarter you’ll become. “Roomy” and “capacious” will be your words of power.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): “We don’t always have a choice about how we get to know one another,” wrote novelist John Irving. “Sometimes, people fall into our lives cleanly—as if out of the sky, or as if there were a direct flight from Heaven to Earth.” This principle could be in full play for you during the coming weeks. For best results, be alert for the arrival of new allies, future colleagues, unlikely matches, and surprise helpers.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In North America, people call the phone number 911 to report an emergency. In much of the EU, the equivalent is 112. As you might imagine, worry-warts sometimes use these numbers even though they’re not experiencing a legitimate crisis. For example, a Florida woman sought urgent aid when her local McDonald’s ran out of Chicken McNuggets. In another case, a man walking outdoors just after dawn spied a blaze of dry vegetation in the distance and notified authorities. But it turned out to be the rising sun. I’m wondering if you and yours might be prone to false alarms like these in the coming days, Virgo. Be aware of that possibility. You’ll have substantial power if you marshal your energy for real dilemmas and worthy riddles, which will probably be subtle.