On The Beat

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Officer Teach’s Guide to the Art of Testifying

Being a charitable fellow and also an eternal teacher at heart, I believed I was pre-determined to ‘help’ them by destroying any semblance of rhythm on their part.

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Failure to Communicate

“NO! DON’T TOUCH IT! DO NOT TOUCH THAT GUN!” He just looked at me stupidly, head cocked to the side, and his left hand gripped the bottom of his untucked shirt to lift it higher as his right hand moved towards the gun… more »

May 9, 2013 by in On The Beat

Lawsuits of the Stupid and Stupider

Despite his wound, the old guy is able to return fire with his .357 revolver and hits his burglarizing, home-invading drug-addict attacker four times. more »

May 1, 2013 by in On The Beat

One Cop. Well Done.

Two pork chops and a bag of popcorn? Are you kidding me? That’s what you call dinner?” he screamed. I looked at him blankly from across the room, feeling no emotion…only a breeze against my shirtless back through the open screen door behind me. more »

Apr 25, 2013 in On The Beat

Greasy Bullets: The Cop Diet

It seemed plausible that we had easily consumed more fried chicken livers than any two men combined in local history, and too much of such a unique element had to have consequences. more »

Apr 11, 2013 by in On The Beat (1 Comments)

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