There are many paths to wellness, as long as your take the first step
There are many paths to wellness, and many ways to embark on those paths. I encourage people to go in the direction that feels right to them, and having the input or guidance of a professional to help discover that direction can be an invaluable first step.
For instance, depending on a person’s concerns—be they psychological, physical or spiritual—they might find that the most healing route for them is a tailored combination of psychotherapy, support groups, couples’ work, utilizing “alternative” modalities—meditation, yoga, Reiki, massage, acupuncture, etc. Sometimes medication needs to be considered.
The possibilities are many, and one of the most promising, when addiction is in the picture, is a 12-Step group.
I remember having an assignment in grad school to attend several 12-Step meetings. This was a new experience for me then, and I was blown away by what I heard.
The raw pain, rigorous honesty and overwhelming battles within…as well as the fellowship and commitment to helping each other, non-judgmentally. I was humbled and filled with respect for these journeys.
These days there are many types of 12-Step meetings, as we become more enlightened to the myriad of addictions: AA (alcohol), NA (narcotics/opiods), OA (over-eating), GA (gambling), SCA (sexual compulsivity), ACA (adult children of alcoholics) and Alanon (dealing with an addicted loved one.)
These are perhaps the best-known, and there are more. Let’s face it: we can become addicted to just about anything. Even the remote control!
I’m not advocating that these anonymous groups are for everyone; they’re not. However, if given a chance, they can be truly life-saving for many. “90 meetings in 90 days” often begins the healing, and if a person can muster the internal fortitude for that, then they are off to a great start.
Having been so impressed back when I was in school, you can rightly assume that I have several friends in my life now, and many patients throughout the three decades of my work, who are active in their recovery, and count one or more types of 12-Step meetings as helping them to be who they are today—alive, clean, sober and hopeful.
So I want to share with you a few brief passages from my friend Chris’ writings. He just hit 10 years sober, and his reflections offer further insight.
Change Can Be Scary
“Times are changing and I have to change with them...we all change and that’s good, just as long as we don’t forget all the people we used to be. I ask my Higher Power to help me to be malleable yet strong and to live thru change with contentment.
“This disease of addiction is so destructive and can warp us, the addict and the person affected by the addict. Life is simpler and more serene when there is a peace treaty between the squirrel convention and the flying monkeys in my head.”
Starting The Journey
“The first night I stepped into the rooms, I remember the desperate need to begin learning how to live a different way than the road set before me by my family. So I shut up and listened; I did for many meetings. Because of that, I learned to listen for my Higher Power’s words in others and to remember them when pieces of a plan fell into place.
“After about two months, I began to talk more about my own walk in sobriety. I came from a family where insecurity and being afraid all the time was the norm. In the meetings I’m given the tools to overcome this fear: the serenity prayer, living in the present, working the steps, making gratitude lists, and staying close to my created family.
“These days I’m grateful that my Higher Power can use me to reach others who are suffering.”
The Healing Power Of Service Work: Helping Others
“I have felt guilty at times cuz I haven’t felt I’ve been of service to others, i.e. sponsoring, chairing a meeting, cleaning up afterwards. Yet, I still do service work in my own way, outside of meetings. A lot of times via late night texting a friend who has been struggling; sharing experiences with a loved one who is taking steps toward recovery; even in my daily contact with customers. Yes, I will get more involved at meetings, but I cannot discard the service work I do that keeps me out of my head while helping others."
I hope this illustrates how the process is both internal and external, and that 12-Step meetings may be just what’s needed…perhaps for yourself, or a loved one who’s hurting.
Until next time: “Shout out to everyone trying to get their life together. Working on yourself is the hardest part of life. Keep going, no matter where you are.” — the goodquote
Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, author, minister, and educator in private practice in Chattanooga. Contact him at DrRPH.com, visit his wellness center at WellNestChattanooga.com