Coming to terms with the loss of a beloved father
This may be the most difficult thing I have ever had to write: a eulogy for a lost parent.
After a five year battle with cancer, my father passed away peacefully in his sleep last week. I was with him as he passed, and I hope that my being there helped make it easier for him. I was holding his hand and letting him know he was loved. He went gently in to the good night, which is the best we can all hope for.
My dad lived an amazing life. Those who had the opportunity to meet him knew what a charming, intelligent and genuinely warm person he was. I was amazed how quickly he connected with people when he first met them. The phrase "never met a stranger" could have been invented for my father.
He was born, raised, and lived the vast majority of his life in California. Yet, when he knew he had only a few years left (cancer is quite often a very slow killer), he made the move here to Chattanooga to be closer to his children. And he immediately fell in love with this city, and its people.
My father lived to embrace life. He loved to travel—my sister and I have spent weeks going through seemingly countless boxes of photos and slide (yes, slides) documenting his many travels—he loved exploring new cities, he loved good food, fine beverages, intriguing art and music, and most of all interesting company.
It was as if Chattanooga was made for him and just waited for him to arrive to make everything complete. It was as if after years of travel, he had finally come home.
No life is lived without bumps and falls. He never tried to pass himself off as perfect, a saint, or a shining example of human perfection. He was a man with strengths and weaknesses, fortune and fault. But through it all, he never stopped trying to be a better man, learning from his mistakes and moving forward to the next challenge, the next adventure.
But what most moved me is how he touched people both close and complete strangers. He was the man who lit up a room when he entered, and left with everyone looking forward to his next visit.
As you can imagine, I am still in a bit of a daze, as if I'm walking through a dark fog that dulls the mind and soul. If you have ever lost a loved one, you know what I'm talking about. And even though we all knew the end was coming, and my family and I spent as much time as we could with him over the past several months, there is simply never enough time.
But there are people who made the passage easier. I want to specifically thank Hospice of Chattanooga for their incredible support and caring for him and my family through this time. They are truly angels on earth.
I also want to thank the entire staff at Morning Pointe at Shallowford, where he had lived for the past several months. Their love, support and compassion were deeply appreciated by my father and my family.
Our plans are to have him interred in the National Cemetery here in Chattanooga. He was a veteran of the United States Air Force and I can think of no higher honor than for him to be laid to rest surrounded by his comrades in uniform.
As for me, I am obviously heartbroken. He had long ago come to peace with his ending, and was in good spirits through the very end. The sadness is very real, but I cherish every moment I had with him throughout my life and am doing my best to live up to his example and positivity.He is at peace now. His pain is gone. And in the end that is all that really matters.
Rest in peace, dad. I love you.