Accessing our inner beauty through joyous moments
Over the years, regular Shrink-Rappers got to know my wonderful furry companion, Betty Lou, a truly delightful bundle of smart, goofy, entertaining energy. You may also know that, after being my faithful shadow for 14 years, Betty crossed the Rainbow Bridge about a year ago.
Just before that part of her journey, a frightened, malnourished rescue pup entered our lives and, after a few months of integration—read chewed slippers, wet spots on the rug, and narrow escapes under the fence—the new bundle of energy, dubbed Lily Pad, took some of Betty’s teachings to heart and has become every bit as fun, mischievous and intelligent as her wise predecessor.
Lily’s a great guard dog, but secretly loves everyone she meets. She’s chubbed up, her confidence is strong, and she’ll hold up her end of an argument with dogs ten times her size. Put succinctly, it’s never dull around here. Once again.
I tell you this to point out that between long walks, long naps, tug-of-war, and belly-rubs, the good feelings of being the human to an unconditionally loving dog has brought back a certain kind of “feel good.” And while I know she’s lovin’ it too, I can’t help but think that I am the main recipient of all this goofy, on-going happiness.
Why is feeling good so important? Because it helps make us beautiful on the inside. Which of course, radiates outward to all we meet. We’re in a better place, and the world becomes a better place. For me, enjoying Lily accomplishes this.
But there are many activities that can increase our good feelings. Some, like exercise, bring a rush of endorphins. Some come from quiet times with a good book, a good glass of wine or cup of tea, or a long conversation with a dear friend. What’s important is that you find for yourself that which strengthens your self-esteem, radiates your inner beauty.
Here are five primary areas of life to ponder to spark this process of feeling good:
1. Freud suggested that love and work are what we all need. So, how is your love life? Are you happily involved? Happily single? Or is there something about the types of guys/gals you attract that needs your attention?
2. How is your work life? Do you look forward to waking up every morning with a sense of purpose? Or are you unhappy with your current profession? You’re the only one who can set your path in a new direction.
3. How balanced is your life? Are you a workaholic with few outside pleasures, little time with friends and family? Or do you strike a balance between work, love, fun and time for yourself? Healthy balance is correlated with avoiding burnout, depression, and feeling overwhelmed.
4. How are your relationships with friends? It’s a sure-fire sabotage of your relationship with your partner to expect him or her to be your everything. And so we have friends. A full, happy life includes rewarding friendships.
5. Are you in touch with your mind/body/spirit connection? Questions to ask are: How is your physical self; do you make time to exercise, even if just a romp with your pup? Are you keeping your mind sharp with stimulating conversations and good reading? What about the state of your spirituality? Whether you’re a church-goer, meditator, or tree-hugger, it’s important to develop your spiritual side, which brings a sense of greater connection and peace into your life.
Your priorities are up to you. You can choose a week that brings you happiness, a day that brings you joy, an hour that soothes the soul, a minute to exhale and smile. Sit with gratitude. Give yourself golden moments of quiet and contemplation. And with this self-care, you’ll find that you’ll begin to de-stress and have more moments where you feel good, and good about yourself.
Betty Lou—and now Lily Pad—have taught me valuable lessons about the importance of feeling good about your life, and good about yourself. About inner beauty and abundant joy. And for that, Lily can have all the belly-rubs she wants.
Until next time, I’ll leave you with these two quotes:
“There’s just something about dogs that makes you feel good. You come home, they’re thrilled to see you. They’re good for the ego.” — Janet Schnellman
“I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me they are the role model for being alive.” — Gilda Radner
Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, author, minister, and educator in private practice in Chattanooga. Contact him at DrRPH.com, visit his wellness center at WellNestChattanooga.com