As the spring season approaches, is it time to do an emotional spring cleaning?
I have a wonderful colleague in Los Angeles who says, “When you let go of the one unhealthy relationship in your life, you can turn in another direction and greet the 10 healthy ones that have been waiting for you.”
She’s not only referring to the relationships you have with sig others or romantic involvements; she means all your relationships—the ones you have with your job/career, your home and surroundings, your health, finances, responsibilities, relatives, friends…on and on.
Of course there are those times when whatever may be going on with the dynamics of a certain relationship is challenging, but there is “enough” good in place to work on salvaging it. And there are those relationships that, no matter how much you work on them, remain abusive or dangerously unhealthy in one way or another.
How do you know when enough is enough? That’s often difficult to answer and different for each person, but a good start to uncovering your truth at that level of insight is to listen to your wise, inner voice, your hunch, that sage intuition that arrives when you’re quiet and tuned into yourself. Your truth is there, waiting for you.
In the healing workshops we conduct at my wellness center, Well Nest, we often include “healing circles.” The intention of these circles is to be tuned in to oneself at all levels, physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual. We go around the circle and first declare, publicly and with as much honesty as we are capable of, what it is that we each are ready to let go of.
Mind you, this is at a point in the workshop where we’ve already spent the day getting to know each other, having done much meditating and centering breathing exercises, sharing personal histories and exploring energy work in the forms of T’ai Chi, QiGong or Reiki.
In short, we’ve happily bonded, given each other support, and our trust level is high. This is an important point, as being able to be in touch with one’s inner truth requires a significant level of emotional safety and comfort.
So, in our healing circles, folks might decide that they are ready to let go of their physical pain or medical issues, their fears and insecurities, their resentment toward a friend or family member, their struggles with their Higher Power, or the relationships in their lives that are not working.
These are just a few examples.
Then, in the next go-around, we each fill the space just created by letting go with something healthy and positive that we wish to attract. Love, health, peace of mind, greater insight, financial security—it could, literally, be anything of significance.
The take-away from such an intimate exercise is that by letting go of what is not working in our lives, or what is unhealthy that, for whatever reasons, we believed we needed, now allows room for the healthy people, experiences and things to enter. Nature abhors a vacuum, so we can either let chance decide how that space will be filled, or we can decide, with intentionality, clarity of mind and an open heart.
Letting go can be among the hardest things we humans do. And yet, to be fully available to experience the wonderful new beginnings of spring, we must be able to let go of the stark, chilling days of winter. On a literal level, that’s probably not too difficult for people who are counting down to some warmer weather!
But on a figurative level, the same need applies to everything in our lives. In order to be fully and emotionally available for new, healthy relationships to enter, we have to let go, clear out all the remnants of whatever relationships have reached their time, their expiration date, their season.
Just like the ending of winter and the beginning of spring, there is a natural rhythm, a progression, an evolution to letting go of what’s been, and then of welcoming the new.
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Until next time: “Don’t die with your music still inside you. Listen to your intuitive inner voice and find what passion stirs your soul.”
— Wayne Dyer