The good doctor shares tales of good deeds, good works, and other stuff
This past Saturday was national “Pay It Forward” day. First of all, how cool that our “kindness consciousness” is at a national level! In times when the news is often particularly depressing and appalling, perhaps we need to focus on kindness more than ever.
Statistics show that a minimum of three people benefit from kind acts: the person doing the act, the recipient of the act, and anyone witnessing the act. It’s a true measure of our heart and humanity when we help others compassionately, with no regard for payback—payback comes automatically, in the form of feeling good.
So here’s another installment of what’s becoming an annual tradition in this column, where you’ll find ideas (sent in from friends and readers) for creative acts that could benefit your neighbors, teach your children, improve co-workers’ morale, and produce life-transforming benefits. Some are new, some are old favorites. Enjoy!
1. When I go out dining I always pay attention to my server. I look for something nice to say about them to the restaurant manager before I leave. Many times we are quick to complain but slow to compliment. (Julie, North Chatt)
2. While driving up north to visit my family I have to pass through toll booths. I make sure to pick the ‘pay cash’ lane, and I pay for myself as well as the car behind me. I don’t often get to see how that driver reacts, but the toll booth worker always gives me a big smile. (David, Jacksonville, FL)
3. Once or twice a year I buy new clothes—jackets, shoes, gloves, shirts, whatever. If it’s something “extra,” I make a point to donate the item it’s replacing. For example, if I buy a winter jacket and already have one, then I take the jacket I already own and bring it to a shelter. This idea can be applied to many other “extra items” as well. (Martha, Chattanooga)
4. When my partner and I lived in Los Angeles, we would have Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners for the homeless at our house the day before each holiday. You never knew who would come or how many—some years we had 20 and some years we had up to 80 people.
I would go around to thrift stores and purchase clothing and get food from the local food pantry for them to take away with them. It’s great to know what follows an act of kindness but usually you’ll never know.
However, one couple who came to these dinners every year eventually got off the streets, found successful jobs, bought a home, and years later they came back to our home to let us know what had evolved from that simple act of “breaking bread.” And on that visit they brought bags of clothing and food for us to hand out. (Dan and Bill, Chattanooga)
5. I have a garden and have had one for many years. I always plant more than I need and leave bags of veggies on neighbor’s steps in my neighborhood. (anonymous)
6. When I go grocery shopping I leave coupons all throughout the store near the corresponding items in case someone can use them. (anonymous)
7. While in the military stationed outside of Seattle, I’d kept a bunch of old sweatshirts and decided to cut them up and make blankets with them. I eventually got two of my fellow G.I.’s to do the same, then more and more people joined in. By Christmas we had enough blankets to go to the nursing home and find out from the staff which residents had no family. We’d leave our blankets gift-wrapped under the tree in the lobby with those residents’ names on them. Last year I taught my own kids how to continue the tradition. (Terry, Atlanta)
8. I grew up in a rural New England area, and my parents had us kids pick one day out of our weekends to help a neighbor. Some weekends we’d help hay a field or put wood in a cellar or pick strawberries or mow our nana’s lawns. The list was endless but every weekend we didn’t know who we’d help and neither did the neighbors, so it was always a surprise when three little helpers came knocking on their door. (Shane, East Ridge)
10. My friend and I were at a zoo on a hot day and she was walking around with an iced coffee. One of the employees commented on how good the iced coffee looked. So my friend went around the corner, bought an iced coffee for the employee, and tracked her down.
Later that week I did something similar (with a cup of tea) for the grumpiest person in my office. That person paid it forward the next day with coffee for the UPS man. We’ve started something good here! (Betty, Los Angeles)
I hope these have had a positive effect on you, and perhaps you’ll find more ways to “pay it forward.” Drop me a note and tell me about it, and we’ll keep the “good stuff” going!
Until next time: “A high station in life is earned by the gallantry with which appalling experiences are survived with grace.” —Tennessee Williams
Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, author, minister, and educator in private practice in Chattanooga. Contact him at DrRPH.com, visit his wellness center at WellNestChattanooga.com