Practical advice from the good doctor on how to stay happy and at peace
I want to invite you to think of a place, real or imagined, where you feel safe. Secure. Happy, even joyous. At peace. Centered and fully alive.
That may seem like a lot to ask, but let your mind float freely. Did you have a personal little hideaway as a child where you felt completely and totally secure? Remember that little cupboard under the stairs? That spot in the attic where no one ventured except you? How about soaring high on the swings in the playground? Lying in the meadow, looking up at the clouds?
How did you navigate the trials and tribulations of high school? Did you have a “happy place” where you could hang out and be comfortable and feel good about yourself? Did you ride your bike or your skateboard to the woods, then run along a path to the stream that felt like it was all yours? No peer pressure. No stress.
How about in adulthood…where’s your personal space where you go for a breather from adult stressors? Where can you exhale, feel the tension leave your body, notice your mind quieting down? Even if it’s just for a few minutes with your coffee in the morning. Or on the road in the solitude of your car. Or for an entire weekend of hiking, strolling or jogging. Rock-climbing, anyone? Yoga? Walking the dog?
Ok, now think again as I repeat the question. Where is your safe place? Sometimes it helps to go all the way back to grandma’s front porch. Or a childhood garden. And sometimes, the safe place doesn’t even exist…at least not in “reality.” It’s all in your mind, your reality, a product of your creativity and imagination. A sanctuary, if you will. Yours and yours alone, if that’s what you choose. A place of bliss, where your creations wrap around you like a security blanket. Or stepping into an old pair of slippers. I think you get the idea.
There’s a wonderful Zen saying that goes, “Everyone needs to meditate for 20 minutes a day. Unless you don’t have time. Then you should meditate for an hour.”
Going to your “Safe Place,” or “Happy Place,” or however you wish to think of it, is a form of meditating that can bring you the kind of peace that lets you manage your day with more energy, feeling less stressed out, feeling more centered, mindful and well. It’s a way to relax, re-charge, re-evaluate or just be with yourself, prioritizing your need to take care of your mind, body and spirit.
And it’s always with you, anytime you need it. You can change it up, or return to the same location. How? All of this happens with just a few deep breaths, some quiet, unplugged time, and by giving yourself permission to go wandering. Get away. Find that security blanket and know that the more you use it, the better at this you get.
The Safe Place can be such a powerful image that it is often used in the practice of Clinical Hypnotherapy. It’s not that you’re necessarily hypnotizing yourself (although you may be). It’s more that you’re allowing yourself to go to a calm, naturally altered state where, for at least a few moments, you’ve found a bit of bliss. Don’t you deserve that?
Many people did not have a safe childhood. Their young world included alcoholism, abuse, neglect and other psychologically and/or physically scarring experiences.
So, finding or creating and going to a safe place, especially on a regular basis, can provide much-needed healing. When you’re there, with all the details and delights of sight, sound, touch, taste and smell around you, you can finally be safe.
Finally.
You can exhale. You can know what was unknowable before. You can feel that which was unsafe to feel before. You can be you, without judgment or punishment. You can be you.
Until next time: The chakras remind us that—I know, I see, I speak, I love, I do, I feel, I am.
Dr. Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D., is a psychotherapist, author, minister, and educator in private practice in Chattanooga. Contact him at DrRPH.com, visit his wellness center at WellNestChattanooga.com