Chattanooga has many resources for victims of rape and sexual assault
It was years ago and I don’t think I’m going to tell you how old I was or what state I lived in, whether I was married or single, fresh-faced college kid or gray-haired professional. The point is, I could have been any of those things. Any race. Any gender. Any age, any sexual orientation.
I was raped.
None of this makes me special. Out of the possible writers who could have been assigned to this story, if Chattanooga tracks with the national averages, one in five women has been raped. One in 71 men has been raped. (Seem like a small number? Figure up how many guys you went to high school with. Then do the math.)
One in three women and one in six men have experienced sexual violence. Out of multiracial women, almost half have experienced sexual violence. Rates are high for other women of color, too. Forty percent of gay men have experienced sexual violence. Forty-seven percent—you didn’t read that wrong—of transgender men and women have been sexually assaulted.
If you’re straight and white, you’re maybe out of the worst of it. But still. Too many of us, too many of our brothers and sisters, are being hurt.
Chattanooga’s rates of rape and sexual assault likely track closely with national figures, says Harlee Milligan, sexual violence community educator with Partnership for Families, Children and Adults. Still, she adds, most of those people do not get help.
“Our biggest barrier to knowing the number in Chattanooga is that most folks who are assaulted are not reporting it,” she says. “One in 10 may report to law enforcement. But we assume it’s around the national average based on the people who call us or come in for services.”
Reporting versus seeking help—that’s a big distinction. If you’re reading this and you’ve been raped or sexually assaulted, you may assume that seeking help means starting up a big engine of accusation and scrutiny, perhaps risking retaliation by your assailant. But it’s important to distinguish seeking help from turning to law enforcement.
Partnership FCA has a host of resources for people who have experienced rape or sexual violence, whether a few minutes ago or years back. The first step is a conversation.
“We start by believing,” says Rachel Alonge, sexual assault advocate with Partnership. “The first thing we do is affirm the experience of the person coming to our center. Statistically, there are various responses when people disclose. We want our crisis center at Partnership to be where people can be affirmed and believed. We start with our clients in creating the safe space of belief, then move to the resources that would best benefit them.”
The resources at Partnership’s Rape Crisis Center include:
- Crisis counseling with an experienced, on-site counselor
- In-person advocacy for people who wish to visit medical providers or report to law enforcement
- A medical exam at an on-site clinic with nurses trained in helping sexual assault victims (rape kits can be obtained up to five days after an assault)
- In-person support for court appearances and help navigating the court system (though not legal representation)
- Assistance in finding safe shelter
Anyone age 13 and up can come to Partnership for help. Abled adult victims can rely on complete privacy; abuse of children will be reported to Child Protective Services and abuse of disabled adults to Adult Protective Services. People of any religion, race, sexual orientation, or gender, including transgender and non-binary people, are welcome.
The counselors at the Rape Crisis Center at Partnership can’t make the rape or assault not have happened; they aren’t superheroes. But what they can do is stick with someone who’s experienced rape or sexual assault from the initial conversation through the often-daunting interactions with medicine and law enforcement.
“There can be shame associated with someone’s assault, and sharing those details can be difficult to do,” Milligan tells me. “Having someone walk alongside that [journey] with you can be helpful.”
Sexual Assault and the LGBT Community
Gay, lesbian, bi and trans people face domestic violence, including sexual assault, at higher rates than the rest of the population, says Rick Pimental-Habib, Ph.D., C.C.H., an author and counselor who works in Chattanooga, focusing on the needs of the LGBT community. Many segments of this group face higher rates of assault by strangers, too, than do straight/cis people.
“Societal pressures, especially rejection from family, rejection from churches, and rejection from our administration plays a really strong role in that,” he says, noting that substance abuse is also more prevalent in this community.
“Anybody who is facing that much of an uphill battle to be who they are is going to be prevalent for reaching for more crutches, and some of those will be unhealthy. On top of that, think about the trans community and how transphobic our society historically has been. I think right now trans people are more out…they are sort of marked by those who want to do them harm; they are bearing a brunt of what we hear about.”
Tragically, due to social stigma, Dr. Pimental-Habib says it may not be safe for LGBT people to report sexual assault or rape directly. This is doubly so for trans people.
“Trans people in small towns, even in cities, take a big risk in coming out,” he says. “Being that courageous when you’re so vulnerable [means sexual assault] is vastly underreported. That has to change.”
Side-by-side with advocating courage, Dr. Pimental-Habib notes that LGBT people should keep themselves safe, taking precautions that might not be necessary for the straight/cis community. It’s a hard balance—courage and caution. When it comes to reporting to police, he again recommends discretion.
“Until society’s attitude comes around, until religions come on board, we must be extra careful,” he tells me. “Not all gay people feel comfortable calling the police, and for good reason. We may be targeted by corrupt or homophobic police, we may be taken frivolously and not seriously. Hopefully, that is changing—I’m in East Ridge and our police are great—but we all know it’s not where it needs to be.”
Dr. Pimental-Habib suggests turning first to a close friend or family member, someone who will listen with love and respect, if we experience sexual violence. Having an advocate present can make it easier to speak with medical providers and peace officers, especially at a time when it can be hard to come out and share our stories with even the most accepting, compassionate professionals.
What To Do If
What do you do if you are one of those friends, neighbors, or family members and someone you know tells you that he or she has been sexually assaulted or raped?
Rachel Brann, intern at the Rape Crisis Center at Partnership, has solid advice for how to respond when a friend, family member, or acquaintance lets you know they’ve experienced sexual violence.
“Start by believing,” she says. “Say you believe them. Say ‘Thank you for sharing.’ Recognize the bravery. It can be the smallest, simplest thing that can skyrocket the trajectory of their healing.”
Brann also encourages people to be aware in advance of resources such as Partnership’s Rape Crisis Center, but to also recognize that the survivor is on a healing journey.
“You can give them the resource, but let them make the decision to seek out resources,” she says. “Sexual violence is a crime of power and control. We aim to give power and control back to the survivor by empowering them to decide what referrals and what actions to take.”
“Follow up with, ‘It wasn’t your fault,’” Milligan adds. “The way you react, especially if you are the first person they tell, can shape whether they ever seek resources or if it becomes their deep and dark secret. It’s important to be supportive in that.”
Notice what’s not on this list? Jumping into action mode. Preemptively calling cops or EMS for your friend. Asking a lot of questions. Don’t. Just—don’t. You want to empower survivors to tell as much or as little as they want to tell and to seek the help they want to seek on their own schedule.
And if you’re the survivor? Know that you did nothing to deserve this—not where you went, what you wore, who you got involved with. If you are a sex worker, you don’t deserve assault. If you are married to your rapist, you don’t deserve assault. If you are a child or a senior citizen, you don’t deserve assault. If you’re fat, you don’t deserve assault. If you’re skinny, you don’t deserve assault. If you’re male and your attacker is female, you don’t deserve assault.
Seek out help as it seems right to you. Seek justice according to your personal definition, whether that involves self-healing or the court system or both. And it’s okay if there’s quite a while when you’re still deciding how you feel about things.
Resources All Around
Partnership isn’t the only referral center in Chattanooga. Like Alonge and Milligan, Brann has spent time working with people who have experienced rape and sexual assault, and she’s learned a lot through her experience. Experience-backed intuition, she says, goes a long way to identifying safe community partners and resources.
“It’s different for everyone,” she says when asked about confiding in churches or other community groups. “It can be a gut feeling or how they’ve responded to you telling them things in general.”
“Look for organizations that have created safe spaces,” Milligan says, adding, “Partnership is always safe.”
Resource List
- Cempa—free, confidential STD testing/ (423) 265-2273, cempa.org
- Partnership for Families, Children and Adults—safe shelter, forensic exams, 24/7 crisis hotline, crisis counseling, lethality assessments, court advocacy, community referrals. HOTLINE: (423) 755-2700, partnershipfca.com/109/crisis-services
- Second Life—survivor services for those impacted by human trafficking. HOTLINE: (855) 558-6484, secondlifetn.org