Chattanooga's signature cocktails are so good you won’t be embarrassed to drink them in front of people
Over many years and beers my favored drink selections have devolved into the most rudimentary of tastes. Whiskey neat chased with antifreeze and PBR with any sunset will often do me just fine.
But sometimes us burly knuckle-draggers should to mix it up. Sometimes the inner Hemmingway needs to let loose and sample concoctions of signature varieties and not be resigned to the stale burn of the same old libations.
Questing to discover the best signature drinks in the city can be daunting if you’re starting tabula rasa. Venturing away from your usual dive on a weekend can be a bone-chilling prospect, especially if you already have a special dent for your toochis at a favorite establishment.
But have no fear, mighty consumers of spirits and adult beverages! I offer this guide to get you started on your drinking revelries the right way.
Whether you are just passing through town or an entrenched local, these signature cocktails are some of the best you can find.
Best Sellers at Bar Moxie
Got Moxie
Bacardi Dragon Berry, fresh lime, black cherry.
I coined a new term when I ventured into this trendy hotspot right off King Street: “When you can’t think, choose pink.”
This peppy little sipper tastes like Bar Moxie’s scene: fresh and alive. Don’t be put off by the weird pink color; the Bacardi Dragon Berry blends well with the black cherry and crushed ice. The taste is crisp and smooth with just a hint of rum when you take a deep pull. It’s not heavy on the fruity side, which I really appreciated.
I recommend rimming the glass with the fresh lime then dropping it in for a perfect citrusy finish after each sip. This little beauty is also Hotel Moxie’s complimentary drink, so when you check in be sure to give this lively cocktail a try to shake the mileage off and settle in for a relaxed vibe.
Southern Spiked Tea
Chattanooga Whiskey, peach schnapps, sweet tea.
Lo and behold, a spiked tea my dear Grandpa would’ve loved! There is a special place in my heart for spiked teas and Bar Moxie’s got the formula just right. Living out in the dusty sage badlands of California, spiked sweet teas were a favorite of mine.
Nothing gets a body through the desert chill like a Tennessee whiskey, sugar, and caffeine. Southern Spiked Tea at Bar Moxie is made with Chattanooga Whiskey and you can tell when you pick up that amazing smoky smooth finish.
The peach schnapps gives this cocktail a little fruity tinge but the overall sweetness isn’t overbearing. It warms you up like a toddy but is cool and refreshing at the same time.
Be careful, though—you’ll forget the whiskey is in there halfway through a high-ball. A big recommend if you love a true taste of southern hospitality with a whiskey finish.
Pleasant Pick-me-ups at Puckett’s
See Ruby Fall
Rosemary-infused Corsair Gin, Cointreau, cranberry, lime.
There is nothing like recovering from a night of drinking by staggering into a bar at eleven in the morning. I’m not one for the brunch scene but after tasting of this ruby-red bugger I may have to change my low-brow ways. See Ruby Fall is smooth, sweet, and refreshing.
The clean lime scent opens up the palate for the crisp wash of Corsair Gin with the lip-smacking finish of Cointreau and cranberry. Honestly, it’s a mélange of fantastic in a tiny glass. For all my burly mannish ways, this cocktail was so good I didn’t feel ashamed to drink it in front of people.
See Ruby Fall is near perfection from start to finish. It’s vibrant and smooth and just right to invigorate the bones from a night of hard partying. Just don’t get carried away or the only thing falling will be you.
Smokey The Bear
Corsair Triple Smoke whiskey, Deauville Amaretto, ginger beer, lemon.
If relaxation came in a high-ball glass and was served on the rocks with lemon it would be Smokey The Bear. Oh baby, this cocktail could pair well with clear mountain mornings reading the paper.
The Corsair Triple Smoke has a complicated flavor profile that drops hints of maltiness with cherry, but oh dear lord, with the amaretto it becomes a new thing entirely. Smokey The Bear hits you with the bitter then eases into a smoky sweet lullaby at the finish.
The tinge of spice from the ginger beer and citrus tang keep each sip alive and eye opening until the ice rattles.
I recommend this one to anybody looking to glide into life and enjoy the finer things while they drink and ponder long and hard about preventing forest fires.
Mad Mixes at The Mad Priest
Wait & Hope
Monte Verde Mescal, Espolon Tequila, Peach Scrub, orange juice, Cinnamon Oak Fire.
Of course, I had to read the menu about six times before I could wrap my mind around this one. I then had to stare at it for several minutes before anything made sense. Wait & Hope comes out literally smoking and reeking of a rough morning around a booze-snuffed bonfire.
It’s smoky and spicy and fills the mind with terrible decisions of misspent youth; and this is way before you take a deep breath and drink the thing. However, tequila lovers rejoice! This beast is all you need to quench a thirst for something heavy and spicy.
This drink carries heat due to the chunk of artisanal ice setting the flavor of Espolon Tequila off. Wait & Hope is rimmed with tasty cinnamon and sea salt, which doesn’t take the edge off but really intensifies the flavors.
This hot darling is amazing to get the blood flowing but should be consumed by true lovers of the agave and maybe with a fire marshal present. Tequila isn’t my poison of choice but definitely give this one a go just for the sheer spectacle of it being delivered in a giant smoke cloud.
Drink up and wait until all hope (and spatial awareness) leaves your body.
Bourbon Restoration
JW Kelly Bourbon, Rothman & Winter Apricot, Licor 43, salted apricot.
This schizophrenic concoction has a hard time being anything but a good time in a fancy glass. For all its smug pretentiousness it hits like a Confederate cannon ball to the face.
Bourbon Restoration harbors true flavors of a post-antebellum bourbon with some fruity notes teasing the tongue’s periphery. The gorgeous amber and orange hue of a drink served chilled in a long-stemmed glass insidiously hides the bourbon sucker punch.
I recommend drowning the salted apricot to really set off the delicate fruit and spice notes of the liquor. Overall, it’s exciting, it’s aromatic, it’s bourbon. Really, it’s bougie bourbon; you’ll stare at it like it’s bourbon, and you’ll make life decisions like it’s bourbon. Hooray, it’s Bourbon!
Signatures at Southside Social
Big Lebowski
Tito’s Vodka, Kahlua, milk, almond, vanilla.
Southside’s take on The Dude’s trademark drink-of-choice and a clever play on the infamous White Russian cocktail. What’s clever about it? Perhaps it’s the milky sweetness concealing Tito’s Vodka like dirty ransom money from nihilist hitmen.
There is nothing complex about the flavor; it’s smooth and heavy on the vanilla which lingers on the tongue like a snarky quip. For a lazy afternoon of watching couples feeding each other cheese burgers or bowling as the sun sets behind Lookout Mountain, it’s perfect. It’s a drink that embodies the chill. It’s so chill, in fact, that you may forget you are consuming alcohol and be lulled into imaging you’re drinking a delicious milkshake…so be careful if you decide to chug this. Pairs well with bowling, bathrobes, and sunshades.
Eight Foot Bunch
Blue Chair Bay Banana and Coconut rum, melon, pineapple.
If Harry Bellefonte’s music could be summed up in a cocktail, it would be this bright-yellow monstrosity. Southside Social has somehow condensed the taste of the Caribbean into a tiny glass of aromatic greatness.
The first thing to note with Eight Foot Bunch is the strong coconut scent with a citrus spike of pineapple. But it doesn’t end there; the initial sip immediately takes the mind away to far places, where it settles into a unique tropical chorus of white-rum daydreams and salty sea breezes.
Eight Foot Bunch finishes with a light banana flavor and a lasting hint of coconut that is easy on the taste buds. It’s like a piña colada with a banana as a chaser. It’s colorful, it’s delicious, it’s a tropical party from start to finish. It should be chugged from a hollowed-out pineapple with loud calypso music in the background.
I hope these cocktails will serve as great starting-off points, but this by no means is the definitive list of places or drinks to experience. Chattanooga has hundreds of places to check out and near thousands of signature drinks to imbibe. Whether you’re a cocktail cognoscente or whiskey snob like me, Chattanooga has many libations that can appeal to just about everyone.
When not vaporizing zombies or leading space marines as a mousepad Mattis, wriiter and gamer Brandon Watson is making gourmet pancakes and promoting local artists.